We were up against Bruiser, the 17-pound...

We were up against Bruiser, the 17-pound tabby, in our own home version of “Jeopardy,” and whipping him pretty soundly. Once again, time had run out on him.

“I’m sorry,” we told him, “the correct answer--or question in this case--is, ‘What is a penumbra?’ That’ll cost you.”

We removed another kibble from his food bowl. The poor creature was down to three.

He listened while we read the next answer: “This is a two-parter. In the Middle Ages, a type of plainsong developed during the reign of a Pope.”

“Grrrrrr,” Bruiser said.

Judges?

OK, we will accept that. The correct response is “What is a Gregorian chant?”--which the Associazione Italiana di Canto Gregoriano will perform at 8 p.m. Wednesday at the Sacred Heart Chapel, Loyola Marymount University. Admission is free. For information, call (213) 338-3063.

“And the name of the Pope?”

“Grrrrrr,” Bruiser said.

Pope Gregory. Right again.

Bruiser whacked the lever on his automatic feeder, flooding his bowl with dry food.

My, my. Our lead was down to almost nothing. It was time for “Double Jeopardy.”

“OK, listen up, Bruiser. Here’s the next answer: ‘It’s football to the rest of the world.’ ”

One second, two seconds, three seconds, four seconds . . .

Bzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Sorry, that’s the buzzer. The correct answer, of course, is “What is soccer?”--which will be played in a youth league at Penmar Park, 1341 Lake St., Venice. Registration will be held from 2 to 6 p.m. Monday through Friday. The fee is $45. For information, call (213) 396-8735.

“That’ll cost you again,” we told him.

In all fairness to Bruiser, it was now our turn:

“He’s the author of ‘The New Russians’ who will be appearing as a guest at the Santa Monica Main Library, 1343 6th St., Santa Monica, at 1:30 p.m. Tuesday.”

Oh, that’s easy. Hedrick Smith. Who is Hedrick Smith?

And admission is free.

Bruiser started to lick himself furiously, a sure sign that he was nervous about answering the next one. The game had come down to this.

“Morticia and Gomez Addams can usually be found cutting the rug with this dance.”

We hummed the “Jeopardy” tune.

Our opponent remained silent.

We had him. The game was ours.

It’s the tango, which will be taught in a workshop being held by Nito and Elba Garcia at the Studio for the Performing Arts, 8558 W. 3rd St., Los Angeles, from 3 to 6 p.m. on Saturday. Admission is $30, $35 at the door. For reservations and information, call (818) 506-0780.

We wanted to gloat, but didn’t. Alex Trebek wouldn’t.