Give Simpson a Microphone: It’s Not Heavy

John McKay received a call last week from an NBC production assistant who wanted to know if McKay would consent to an appearance during Saturday’s USC-Notre Dame pregame show.

“We’d like to send O.J. Simpson,” the NBC assistant said, “to do the interview.”

“Who?” McKay asked.

“O.J. Simpson,” repeated the assistant.

“Never heard of him,” said McKay, tongue in cheek.

“Why, he’s one of our announcers,” said the young assistant, obviously unaware that Simpson had been a Heisman Trophy-winning running back at USC under . . . John McKay.

The commish: Former Pittsburgh Steeler quarterback Terry Bradshaw, now a network analyst, sees the NFL in need of help, especially in terms of excitement and putting points on the board. So he appointed himself commissioner for a day and came up with the following suggestions:

--If a team is trailing by 14 or more points in the fourth quarter, the team behind gets the ball back after it scores.

--Every player on the field is eligible to catch passes.

--Allow the players to celebrate in the end zone after a score.

--Institute the two-point conversion.

--The ground can cause a fumble.

--The official who blows an inadvertent whistle has it taken away.

--Award the defense one point for blocking a field goal.

--Kickoff returners cannot down the ball in the end zone.

--Kickers cannot wear face masks.

-- No team meetings.

No comment yet from the real commissioner, Paul Tagliabue.

Trivia time: The no-huddle offense has been popularized by the Cincinnati Bengals and Buffalo Bills. But everyone used it before the huddle became commonplace. Who started the huddle, when and why?

Braves’ new world: Relishing Atlanta’s presence in the World Series after its victory over the Pittsburgh Pirates in the seventh game of the National League playoffs, columnist Furman Bisher managed to tie together the Civil War and the New York Mets’ sweep of the Braves in the 1969 playoffs in one sentence: “Thus, too, did the city that rose from the ashes of war end a dry spell 22 years and seven games old.”

Trivia answer: It began in the 1890s at Gallaudet College, a Washington, D.C., school for the deaf, according to Joe Horrigan, historian at the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Gallaudet, playing another school for the deaf, was using hand signals to call the plays. Worried because the other team also knew the hand signals, Gallaudet’s players huddled. And soon, everybody was doing it.

‘I am not a virus’: Dan Le Batard wrote in the Miami Herald: “As spectacular a talent as he is, Barry Bonds is still a clubhouse virus.”

Bonds responded in the Pittsburgh Press: “My teammates want me to play. My manager wants me to play. The fans want me to play. Obviously, I am not a virus.”

Quotebook: California running back Russell White, on whether he missed football during the year of eligibility he lost under Proposition 48: “No, I learned to get excitement out of school. Instead of 40,000 people yelling for me, it was me yelling for myself.”