Separatists in the San Fernando Valley would...

Separatists in the San Fernando Valley would be heartened by the map that ran in Thursday’s edition of the New York Times.

The Eastern newspaper’s cartographer shows the Valley, with the exception of the Sepulveda Dam Recreation Area, outside the boundaries of the city of L.A. We wonder whether Hal Bernson, Joy Picus and Joel Wachs, all of whom represent Valley districts, will bother to show up at the next L.A. City Council meeting.

The map also seems to indicate that the city of San Gabriel has slid south of the San Bernardino Freeway--a development that’s gone unnoticed in the storm coverage.

L.A.’s easy to find, though, as you can see. It’s near the metropolis of Acton.

The New York Times’ geography calls to mind a wisecrack by KCAL (Channel 9) reporter Josh Mankiewicz the other night.

He noted that Mayor Tom Bradley had declined to travel into the Valley to visit the disaster area after the first big storm hit. His Honor appeared instead at a high school competition in mainland L.A. in which students demonstrated their knowledge of Singapore.

Mankiewicz said it seemed surprising that the mayor would give that island nation precedence over “the newly created island nation of Encino.”

We recently kidded the all-news station that advised listeners to stay off the roads by ordering pizza or Chinese for lunch. How would it get there?

Well, the answer was furnished by a Domino’s Pizza outlet in Studio City, which attached a yellow, inflatable boat to its roof--along with a sign that said: “We Deliver.”

By the way, we’d like to apologize for incorrectly reporting that Valentine’s Day had been rained out and would be rescheduled at a later date. One person who didn’t pay any attention to our bulletin was the romantic who draped a sheet over the Long Beach Freeway that said: “I Love You, Maria. Be My Valentine.” He must have been the only guy who wished that the rush hour along there was slow.

A sure sign that the drought is almost over:

A street vendor was peddling umbrellas for $3 apiece on Bunker Hill. A couple of days later, a competitor appeared in the same area with a more stylish $6 model.

Newscastin’ in the Rain:

One guy who isn’t buying umbrellas is John Lippman, the new news director at KCBS (Channel 2). He has banned the use of parasols on camera by his reporters. Lippman even ordered one high-salaried newsman to make sure that he had stood in the rain for a while before going on the air. Obviously Lippman’s a fan of the wet look. Or maybe the ban’s an economy move.

miscelLAny:

In the Neil Simon play, “I Ought to Be in Pictures,” one of the characters says of L.A.: “They have 30 inches of rain here--in one day--and the rest of the year is sunshine.”