High Life / A WEEKLY FORUM FOR HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS : Taking Responsibility: How Much Should Parents Bear?

At what point do you cut the apron strings?

People often say that when you become a parent, you will always be a parent, no matter what the age of your child. But does that mean you will always be responsible for your offspring?

Hot Topics wonders: “How much responsibility should parents bear for their children’s mistakes?”

“The amount of responsibility should be in direct inverse to the amount of time they regularly devote to spending with their kids.”

Ian Hardy, 18,

senior, Woodbridge

“If the parents chain the kid to the bed, then they should take full responsibility for his actions.”

Marianne Mata, 17,

senior, Marina

“Parents have a responsibility to bring their children up right, but the children need to be able to make their own choices. They won’t always make the right ones, and this blame shouldn’t be put solely on the parents.”

Sam Ruh, 17,

senior, St. Margaret’s

“Our parents do the best they can. If we’re old enough to get in trouble, we’re old enough to take responsibility for it.”

Arwen Rosser, 18,

senior, Laguna Hills

“Parents can’t always be responsible for you. Children or teen-agers will have to take their own mistakes in their own hands. If you put yourself into a situation, you should be able to pull yourself out.”

Kristen Garrett, 17,

senior, Los Alamitos

“Depends on the child’s intelligence level.”

Lather Bannigan, 15,

freshman, St. Michael’s Prep

“Parents should have some control over their kids. But how could parents be responsible for them 24 hours a day? If the kid commits a crime, the kid should be responsible.”

Aimee Johnston, 16,

junior, Sonora

“Parents should take most of the responsibility. They should set an example for their children and teach them right from wrong.”

Lindsay Varilone, 14,

freshman, Rancho Alamitos

“If it’s a crime, I don’t think the parents should be accountable for their children’s action.”

John Walsh, 17,

senior, Esperanza

“Parents should take some responsibility, but only to a certain extent. If someone does something wrong, they should be held responsible. They may begin to think their parents will always be there for them to bail them out of a problem, but they won’t. The best way to learn is from your own mistakes.”

Steve Sharp, 18,

senior, Buena Park

“Parents should only take responsibility for the actions of their children if they deliberately intended for their child to commit the act or did not try to restrain the child from doing so.”

Adam Strauss, 16,

junior, Brea-Olinda

“Parents should bear all the responsibility, because then we can make really big mistakes and blame them for it.”

Steve Myers, 15,

sophomore, Sunny Hills

“They should only have responsibility (for) what they know their children have done or are going to do.”

Magdalena Billalba, 16,

junior, Woodbridge

“They can’t take full responsibility. They can take most of it, but not all of it.”

Kevin Sullivan, 17,

junior, Marina

“Little of it, because children should discover what’s right and wrong for themselves.”

Chris Perry, 17,

senior, St. Margaret’s

“Parents shouldn’t bear any responsibility for their children’s mistakes. Parents should let their children make their decisions and bear the consequences, if there are any.”

Erin Pinto, 16,

junior, Los Alamitos

“None. They raised us, but the rest is up to us.”

Kim Thompson, 17,

junior, Laguna Hills

“Parents should be responsible for the things you do. And if you do something bad, they should be fined a lot of money and be sent to jail.”

Zachary Leonard, 15,

freshman, St. Michael’s Prep

“Eighty percent should be blamed on parents. The other 20% on kids, because some kids are uncontrollable and rebellious. It’s not always the parents’ fault.”

Robyn Lauterborn, 18,

senior, Sonora

“All kids are different and for some parents it’s impossible to control their kids, so they shouldn’t be blamed.”

Jan Johnson, 16,

junior, Rancho Alamitos

“A lot, because kids learn most everything from their parents.”

Jerrat Morel, 18,

senior, Esperanza

“All children’s mistakes are mostly made (because) of peer pressure or they just do it for the heck of it. My parents would bear (responsibility for) some mistakes, but there should be a limit to one’s caring. A child should feel responsible with himself if he takes action. As a teen-ager, I should take care of myself, because nobody can control you but yourself.”

Alex Tolentino, 17,

junior, Buena Park

“The responsibility should vary, depending on the problem and the age of the child. (At first,) parents should take total responsibility, but as the child grows, the parents’ responsibility should decrease because children learn from their mistakes.”

Andy Smith, 17,

senior, Brea-Olinda

“It depends on the kid’s age and maturity. If the child wanted the responsibility to make the mistake, then he should bear the responsibility. Sooner or later he has to grow up.”

Benjamin Lee, 17,

senior, Sunny Hills

Next Week’s Hot Topic:

Why don’t boys talk about their feelings?

Responses gathered by Brian Lee (Brea-Olinda), Karen Shelley (Buena Park), Jennifer Leuer (Esperanza), Nikki Thompson (Laguna Hills), Trisha Ginsburg (Los Alamitos), Gail Altman (Marina), Beth Mueller (Rancho Alamitos), Brooke Lyons (St. Margaret’s), Joseph Russell (St. Michael’s Prep), Stefanie Johnson (Sonora), Jedidiah Yeuh (Sunny Hills) and Cheherazad Elavia (Woodbridge).