Nothing Fancy About Schwarzenegger’s Schatzi

Arnold is everywhere. There he is, flacking for Bush, exposed in Spy, and now dressed just like a waiter, in his brand-new Santa Monica restaurant, Schatzi on Main. Of course, waiters in a Schwarzenegger operation don’t go for the tuxedo look--it’s Hawaiian shirts and tans all the way.

There’s nothing fancy about the Schatzi menu, either--a little pasta, a few salads, a burger, some fish. Arnold, it seems, wants you to feel as comfortable in his restaurant as you would in a Hamburger Hamlet. Except, there’s a CBS camera crew taping Schatzi’s first customers, and who can ignore the pumped-up bodybuilders in shorts and tank tops eating, perhaps, a Schatzi organic salad?

So far, the best things to eat are side dishes--cheddary cheese grits that come with turkey meat loaf, good and lumpy mashed potatoes that come with (slightly dry) roast chicken and tart horseradish cole slaw that comes with crab blintzes.

The much-discussed silver that was to be hand-picked by Schwarzenegger’s wife Maria Shriver is apparently not in use yet (maybe they’ll break out the good stuff when Schatzi gets its liquor license and opens for dinner).

But the biggest disappointment was the bratwurst, which was so lean it was almost tasteless. Doesn’t Arnold miss the wursts back in Austria?

* Schatzi on Main, 3110 Main St., Santa Monica, (310) 399-4800. Lunch entrees $8.50-$12.95.