HIGH LIFE: A Weekly Forum for High School Students : Offering Support to Gay Teens : Counseling: Programs outside of school provide information about homosexuality specific to youngsters’ age group.

“Public education has a commitment to serve all children, gay and lesbian children included,” says Virgina Uribe, a science teacher at Fairfax High School in Los Angeles, who founded Project 10, a counseling and support group for homosexual teen-agers.

“I found that these students were being ignored and treated with hate and bigotry,” Uribe said. “A lot drop out of school and are high risk because of problems with parents, low self-esteem, drugs, alcohol and suicide.”

Project 10, which was started in 1984 on the Fairfax campus, has proved valuable to non-homosexual students as well, she said.

“The program reduces prejudice and lets them know about another part of the population. It teaches kids how to live together,” she said.

Though no Orange County high school offers a program similar to Project 10, Uribe said, “that doesn’t mean there couldn’t be.”

Presently, county teens can find information and support specific to their age groups outside of school.

The Gay and Lesbian Community Center in Garden Grove, which celebrated its 20th anniversary Saturday, offers a young adult program for persons under age 24. The group meets Sundays at 7:30 p.m.

Andrew, a counselor with the program, said meetings “provide a safe environment for young adults to come together with those who have the same interests.”

The meetings go beyond being merely support-group gatherings, Andrew said. Discussions are held on topics pertinent to gay and lesbian youth, such as dating and AIDS. In addition, the group has organized several social outings, such as picnics and ski trips.

“This place does tremendous things for me,” said an 18-year-old high school senior who attends the center’s youth meetings. He explained that he has not “come out” at his high school yet and finds it “very, very difficult” to be in an atmosphere where there’s no support.

He added that before he began attending the meetings, his feelings of isolation and loneliness were almost overwhelming. But he said at the center, he can just “relax and be me.”

A high school junior who has attended meetings at the center for more than two months said it’s a place to meet others, get educated and talk about different subjects. “I have friends here,” he said.

A 16-year-old high school sophomore added: “The meetings offer hope that once in a while you’ll meet someone.”

Knowing he was gay at the beginning of his freshman year, the sophomore said he knew of no place to get help then. Without support, he said he went through a suicidal stage and just managed to “melt into the shadows” long enough until he found out about the center.

“There’s a lot of support here, and you get to know people are really out there,” he said.

The center operates a help line Sundays through Fridays from 6:30 p.m. to 10 p.m. The phone number is (714) 534-3261.

Westminster High School counselor Joan Elliott said she has established support groups at her school when she had enough interested students. Now, she’s directing gay and lesbian students to such outside sources as the center.

“They can go over to the center for the youth meetings or just to find out about activities,” Elliott said. “They have a good support system there.”

In addition, Elliott tries to hook up families of homosexual teens with the Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays organization, where they can get help dealing with their feelings.

Elena Laylane, a parent of a gay son, said PFLAG was the biggest help to her and her son after he told her he was gay.

“He had a lot of frustration, anxiety and periods of isolation.” said Laylane from Mission Viejo. “He wanted to quit school. He went to the school counselor for some support, but it was a disaster.”

Laylane said she and her son talked to two high school counselors and neither knew how to help.

She said PFLAG offers support meetings for parents and children, provides role models for her son, and allows her to talk with other parents in an attempt to educate herself.

After weathering her son’s suicide attempt and working very hard to help him cope with his feelings, Laylane said thing are getting better.

However, she said through her tears, it’s very painful to look back on his high school years.

“Homosexuality isn’t a choice. The choice is how you live your life, whether you come out of the closet or not . . . and if a parent can’t help him, who can?”

PFLAG also provides a help line at (714) 997-8047, which “answers questions regarding sexuality and how sexuality plays with family members,” a PFLAG speaker said.

Another help line available is the Gay and Lesbian Youth Talk Line and Information, which takes calls at (213) 462-8130, Mondays through Fridays from 7 to 10 p.m.