When It Comes to Nicknames, to Be Right, You Have to Be Left

Calling the Atlanta Braves’ “implicitly racist” nickname “only the tip of the iceberg,” Spy magazine offered examples of other nicknames with politically incorrect connotations. This was done as a service to the editors of the Portland Oregonian, a paper that has outlawed a few politically incorrect names:

“St. Louis Blues--Exploits creative contributions of African-Americans, in a sport with very few African-American players.

“Seattle Mariners--Possible use of gill nets.

“Sacramento Kings, Los Angeles Kings--Support monarchy over rule of the people.

“New York Giants, San Francisco Giants--Intimidate vertically challenged Americans.

“Milwaukee Brewers--Promotes consumption of alcohol.

“San Antonio Spurs--Condones cruelty toward horses.”

Trivia time: Which NFL team has retired the most jersey numbers?

Bad news, good news: The bad news for the UCLA basketball program was that Richard Mandeville, a 6-foot-11 center from La Canada High, made an oral commitment to Indiana. The good news is that he won’t be going to Arizona, which was his second choice.

Cruelty to animals: From the Sporting News: “(We) looked up Arazi in (an) English-French/French-English dictionary and it means dog food. “

Flames still flicker: Rolando Blackman of the Dallas Mavericks, denied a chance to play in the 1980 Olympics because of the U.S. boycott, told Inside Sports: “I was only mildly disappointed at first. The deep hurt only set in when (President) Carter brought us to Washington for a pep talk. All of a sudden, I realized we weren’t going, and I got sick.

“He was going to use a sport for his own political reasons, and that was ridiculous. Athletes had trained for four years, and now that part of their life was going to be taken away from them. I realized this while Carter was trying to calm us with rhetoric. I felt sick. The whole boycott thing was just plain stupid. It still burns in my mind.”

Grounded by Penguins: Because of his size, Kevin Hatcher of the Washington Capitals, a 6-3, 215-pound defenseman, has earned the nickname “Exxon Valdez.”

Blindside sack: Peter Vecsey of USA Today, on the New York Knicks’ point guards: “If this were football, every time (Greg) Anthony and (Mark) Jackson shot, they’d be accused of intentional grounding.”

“Back in my day . . . “Carlton Fisk of the Chicago White Sox, who broke into the major leagues in 1969, said of today’s players in an interview with the Chicago Tribune:

“They don’t have to work for anything. They don’t have to mow the lawn, and if they do, it’s a riding lawn mower. They don’t have to shovel the driveway, because now there’s a snow blower. Ask a kid where the Persian Gulf is, and he can’t even tell you what side of the world it’s on. They get locked up in unawareness. Certain familiar responsibilities aren’t demanded anymore.

“And it trickles down to baseball. You just see guys picking up a paycheck, keeping to the schedule. A lot of young ones in the game figure they know it all. They’re pretty comfortable right in their bracket of mediocrity.”

Trivia answer: The Chicago Bears have retired 10 numbers, but none of them, surprisingly, was worn by Dick Butkus or Gale Sayers. The numbers retired, and the most prominent players who wore them: No. 3, Bronko Nagurski; No. 5, George McAfee; No. 28, Willie Galimore; No. 34, Walter Payton; No. 41, Brian Piccolo; No. 42, Sid Luckman; No. 56, Bill Hewitt; No. 61, Bill George; No. 66, Bulldog Turner; No. 77, Red Grange.

Quotebook: Dave Dravecky, amputee, former major league pitcher and amateur golfer, on his handicap: “I can’t give you a number, but I’m down to one arm.”