TENNIS / THOMAS BONK : It’s Not Matchless Entertainment

What are we to make of the Martina Navratilova-Jimmy Connors pay-per-view event Sept. 25 at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas?

Battle of the Sexes? That already has been taken. Two Geezers at Caesars? Sorry, that’s boxing.

Whatever you call it, Navratilova, 35, and Connors, 39, are going to go at it--for unspecified guarantees plus $500,000 supposedly earmarked for the winner only.

Navratilova gets a handicap to help even things: Connors gets one serve, and Navratilova will hit to a side of the court extended half the width of the doubles alley on both sides.

It is the tennis equivalent of a trick shot in pool, heavy on gimmicks and light on relevance.

So why are they doing it?

“We’re doing it because it’s a hell of a deal,” Connors said, cutting to the chase as usual.

Obviously, age has done nothing to dull his reasoning. There is nothing wrong with doing it for money; just don’t let anybody go around attaching any tennis significance to the result.

Said Navratilova: “Obviously, if we played straight up, Jimmy would beat me.”

Promoter Rick Kulis of Event Entertainment called it the most anticipated event since Holyfield-Tyson, which never actually happened, but forget hyperbole for a moment. It probably is closer to the hysteria generated by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar playing one-on-one with Julius Erving, which was almost nil.

No matter. Promoters Bertelsmen Music Group and Kulis are banking that cable viewers will spend $24.95 to watch the event in the 14,000-seat stadium in the hotel’s parking lot. Tickets for the live gate range from $25 to $75.

Connors insisted there is something else at stake besides money, though.

“It gives me the opportunity to be the unofficial women’s champion, which is something I’ve always looked forward to.”

Trivia time: How many times has John McEnroe won the Volvo/Los Angeles tournament, formerly the Pacific Southwest?

Martina vs. Monica? Her wild-card entry in the Virginia Slims of Los Angeles the week of Aug. 10 automatically makes Navratilova the second-seeded player in the $350,000 event and puts her on track to play top-seeded and No. 1-ranked Monica Seles in the final.

If so, it would be a rematch of their Wimbledon semifinal, when Navratilova’s comments about grunting by Seles caused a sensation. Since then, Seles has refused to do any one-on-one interviews unless the grunting issue is not mentioned.

His way: Connors said he will run his own seniors’ tour next year, which will be in direct opposition to the ATP Senior Tour.

“You’ve seen the rest, now see the best,” Connors said.

He listed John Lloyd, Bjorn Borg, Guillermo Vilas, Vitas Gerulaitis, Ilie Nastase, Dick Stockton and Roscoe Tanner as potential clients.

“It’ll be real tennis, not just tiebreakers like the ATP version,” Connors said.

Doubling up: McEnroe said Michael Stich will be his doubles partner at the U.S. Open. McEnroe and Stich won the doubles title at Wimbledon.

Court time: The battle over the construction of a permanent tennis stadium on Key Biscayne appears to be over as a result of a decision by the Third District Court of Appeals in Florida. The court rejected arguments that could have permanently halted construction of a $6.5-million stadium.

However, legal challenges still might be made over its size and usage. Butch Buchholz, Lipton International Players Championship chairman, is optimistic that the stadium will be completed in time for the tournament next March.

Watch this: According to a survey of tennis fans published in an ATP Tour study on the speed of the game, 65% said they preferred watching a men’s singles match to 17% for women’s singles.

Incentive: How much is it worth to win the U.S. Open? A lot more than last year. The men’s and women’s singles champions each will get $500,000--an increase of $100,000 from 1991--and the highest winners’ share in Grand Slam history.

Trivia answer: Twice in singles, 1982 and ‘86; three times in doubles--1981, ’83 and ’88.

Tennis Notes

The finals of the United States Tennis Assn.’s National Men’s 50 and 55 Hardcourt Championships will be held today at Lindborg Racquet Club in Huntington Beach. . . . The $150,000 Arizona tennis tournament, once known as the Virginia Slims of Arizona, will move from Phoenix to Lind, Austria, next year. It lost $300,000 last October. . . . The deadline is Tuesday to enter the 28th Ventura County Tennis Championships, Aug. 15-16 and Aug. 22-23. Details: (805) 658-4743. . . . The Southwestern Region men’s and women’s qualifying tournament for the American Maccabiah tennis team, sponsored by the U.S. Committee on Sports for Israel, will be held Sept. 18-20 at the Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center in La Jolla.