COMMENTARIES ON FAMILY VALUES : Gays Should Not Be Outcasts Just Because of Their Sexual Orientation : Homosexuals deserve to be a part of society, instead of being rejected by their own kin and discriminated against out of fear and ignorance.

There is a lot of talk among the politicians this year about family values. They talk about raising children, religion, the institution of marriage, hard work ethics and education. I can relate--I grew up in a family.

I was raised by two loving parents, who are still happily married after 36 years. They raised my two brothers, my sister and me in an environment that is the very example of what the politicians speak.

We attended the Catholic Church; my brothers and I were Eagle Scouts, honor students, athletes, paperboys and box boys in the local grocery store.

My sister baby-sat for the neighbors and joined the Future Homemakers of America club. My dad was a teacher in the high school, coach and school bus driver.

Mom was not only a “June Cleaver,” den mother and cookie baker, but she was also on the city council and president of various community service groups. (It was a small town, we all had to take more than one job!) My oldest brother graduated from the U.S. Air Force Academy, and my sister served in the U.S. Navy for seven years. They are both married, and my parents now have seven grandchildren.

That is the kind of American family where the values the politicians speak of come from. Hard-working, middle-class, Midwest American. But something else came from that family. A son who happens to be gay.

Being gay does not mean that I have no family or that I have no values. Although I am not allowed to be married in the eyes of our government or our church, I respect the institution of marriage and treat my relationship with my partner as a marriage. I also have a good job, a good education, own a home and go to church.

I still have those family values, and I wholeheartedly support the candidates who consider them so important. I know the importance of family values.

Being gay is not a choice. Recent scientific studies prove that gay people do not have a choice to select their sexual orientation any more than we can choose our skin color. If being gay or straight were a choice, would our children choose to be gay? Would they choose such a difficult lifestyle--fueled by American society’s ignorance and bigotry?

Few young people would choose a lifestyle subject to such discrimination, hatred, beatings and an incurable disease, not to mention the rejection of their own families.

I believe that God created gay people, too--and that we are all supposed to love one another, regardless of our skin color or our sexual orientation. Ignoring or denying that your children are gay will not make them go away.

Preventing your gay sons and daughters from having rights to fair employment, housing and the benefits of marriage will not make them go away. We have been members of families as far back in history as it goes.

Gay people are the children of families across America. At what point did America’s gay children become “those people?”

We are your children. How many mothers and dads, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, cousins and grandparents have a relative that is gay? Where are their family values if they are outcasting family members because of their sexuality? It is high time that the book on “family values” include a chapter on how to treat our gay sons and daughters.

American families need not lose their gay teen-age sons and daughters to suicide. America’s family values should be teaching our children to love their brothers and sisters--black, Asian, gay, handicapped, poor or rich.

A real family does not exclude its sons and daughters based on fears and ignorance.

Moms and dads, you taught us not to hate other people because they were different. We grew up learning about equal rights for women and minorities. You taught us to be fair and just, and to tell the truth.

The truth is, we are your gay children, we are your families, and we are in favor of family values, too.