In Democratic Move, South Carolina Wins

THE COLLEGES

After South Carolina lost its first five games, the players voted, 62-24, for Coach Sparky Woods to resign. It has been a tough year for incumbents.

Naturally, the Gamecocks then went out and trounced Ole Miss State, 21-6, Saturday, and, tragically, became the fifth team this year to fall from the Bottom Ten lead. Results of this week’s poll of South Carolina players regarding Coach Woods were not available at press time.

The jinxed No. 1 spot fell to the University of Texas at El Wounded Duck Paso, which preserved its spotless record (0-6) with a 27-49 drubbing by Marshall Faulk State.

Elsewhere, the state of Arkansas had another bad week, absorbing thrashings by Ole Miss, Memphis State and, during Monday night’s debate at Michigan State, by George Bush and Ross Perot.

The rankings:

School, Record Last Loss Next Loss 1. UTEP (0-6) 27-49, S.D. State Utah 2. LSU (1-6) 25-27, Kentucky Idle 3. Arkansas State (1-6) 7-37, Memphis State Ole Miss State 4. MiniSota (1-5) 15-20, Michigan State Michigan 5. Moscow (0-2)* 14-45, Western Kentucky Classified 6. Northwestern (1-5) 7-31, Ohio State Illinois 7. Brown (0-5) 24-31, Lehigh Penn 8. UCLA (0-3)** 17-30, Washington State Arizona State 9. Missouri (1-5) 26-28, Oklahoma State Nebraska 10. Arkansas (2-5) 3-17, Ole Miss Idle

11. Houston (2-3); 12. Oregon State (1-5-1); 13. (Tie) Columbia (1-4) and Harvard (1-4); 15.-18. Pentagon (Army, Navy, Air Force, VMI) (8-16); 19. On vacation; 20. Penn State (on a two-game losing streak for first time since 1983).

*Moscow-based team touring United States.

**Pacific 10 record.

Rout of the week: Arizona State (3-2-1) over UCLA (3-3).

Blown call of the week: Syracuse quarterback Marvin Graves set off a bench-clearing brawl by hitting a West Virginia player in the head with the ball after Graves was shoved out of bounds. Five players (including three key Mountaineer defenders) were ejected, but not Graves, who proceeded to lead Syracuse to a 20-17 victory.

It had to happen: When Stanford got off to a 5-1 start, some players were seen wearing T-shirts that read, “20 Years is Long Enough,” referring to the last time the school was in the Rose Bowl game. Saturday, Stanford was beaten, 6-21, by Pac-10 rival Arizona. Anyone for 21?

THE PROS

NASA continues its search for signs of life in Seattle’s offense, but scientists reported no sightings yet.

Bolstered by two consecutive shutouts, the Seahawks lowered their points-per-game average to 6.1 and seem a sure bet to break the NFL record in that category (8.9), set by Eric Dickerson’s 1991 Indianapolis Colts. Won’t you come home, Jim Zorn?

Meanwhile, Mylanta Coach Jerry Glanville, that master psychologist, decorated the team’s sideline Sunday with a five-foot trophy proclaiming the Falcons the 1991 California NFL champions.

(It had something to do with the team’s 6-0 record against California teams last year.)

The trophy had the desired effect--for their opponent, the 49ers. “It really was kind of inflammatory,” said Coach George Seifert of San Francisco, which tomahawked Mylanta, 56-17.

The rankings:

SWOON CONFERENCE*

Team, Record Was Is 1. Cincinnati 2-0 2-4 2. Grampa Bay 2-0 3-3 3. Kansas City 2-0 4-3 4. Detroit 1-1 1-5 5. Philadelphia 4-0 4-2

*Teams taking biggest nosedives since season began.

KFC* CONFERENCE

Team, Record Last Loss Next Loss 1. New England (0-6) 17-38, Miami (Fla.) Cleveland 2. Seattle (1-6) 0-19, Raiders N.J. Giants 3. N.Y. Jets (1-5) Idle Buffalo 4. Mylanta (2-5) 17-56, San Francisco Idle** 5. Phoenix (1-5) 21-30, New Orleans Philadelphia

*Kentucky Fried Conference.

**Deion needs the rest.

Someone gag this man: ABC nonstop talker Dan Dierdorf, after the Redskins’ Art Monk broke the NFL record for lifetime pass receptions against Denver during one of the dullest Monday night games in years: “You can say to your friends you saw it live. . . .”

Sounds like a Bush/Clinton/Perot composite: A letter writer to the Dallas Morning News said: “I nominate for the next president of the United States of America--Jerry Jones. He is a gentleman from Arkansas, he has an address in Texas and lives here, unlike our current president, and he is tall and has plenty of money to run his own campaign.”