Notes on a Scorecard - Nov. 4, 1992

Bound to happen during the NBA season that begins Friday:

Horace Grant will be the most underrated player. . . .

Xavier McDaniel will be the most overrated player. . . .

Nobody will play illegal--or legal--defense in the All-Star game. . . .

Shaquille O’Neal will break a backboard. . . .

Wilt Chamberlain, 56, will insist that he could start at center for most teams. . . .

Danny Ferry will not be compared favorably with Christian Laettner. . . .

Jerry Tarkanian will suffer a saliva shortage from chewing on so many towels during the 82-game schedule. . . .

The Pacific will be the toughest division. . . .

The Midwest will be the weakest division. . . .

During an NBC telecast, Marv Albert will call Mike Fratello the “czar of the telestrator” 25 times. . . .

Bill Laimbeer will get into more fights than Julio Cesar Chavez. . . .

Divisional winners will be Portland, Utah, Chicago and New York. . . .

Mike Dunleavy will regret leaving the Lakers for the Milwaukee Bucks. . . .

Pooh Richardson and Reggie Miller of the Indiana Pacers will form the best all-UCLA backcourt--and one of the best, period. . . .

Duane Cooper, the Laker guard from USC, will be the most valuable second-round draft pick. . . .

Not enough centers will copy Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s sky hook. . . .

Bill Walton will offer the strongest opinions of any TV commentator. . . .

John Williams of the Clippers will earn himself a diet-food commercial. . . .

The best trades will be made in the newspapers. . . .

The New York Knicks’ style of play will be compared to that of the World Wrestling Federation. . . .

The Chicago Bulls will have the best record. . . .

The Dallas Mavericks will have the worst record. . . .

Nobody will work harder than Buck Williams. . . .

Not even Rick Barry will be able to explain why the Boston Celtics drafted Jon Barry in the first round. . . .

Larry Krystkowiak’s name will be misspelled and mispronounced. . . .

Jon Koncak will be overpaid. . . .

The best nickname will belong to Houston Rocket rookie forward Ron (Popeye) Jones. . . .

Conference playoff winners will be Chicago and Phoenix. . . .

Dominique Wilkins will star in the sequel to the “Human Highlight Film.” . . .

Dallas will trade Derek Harper to a contender. . . .

Mark Jackson will have a big game and the Clippers will be called the “Jackson Five.” . . .

Benoit Benjamin will show up at a practice session with three shoes instead of one or two. . . .

The Philadelphia 76ers, without Charles Barkley, will win fewer games than the Philadelphia Flyers, with Eric Lindros. . . .

Jump shooters will be at a premium. . . .

David Stern again will be the best commissioner in sports. . . . Toronto will be the city mentioned the most in expansion talks. . . .

Sam Bowie will get injured. . . .

Forum fans will boo Jake O’Donnell. . . .

Wes Unseld will squeeze the most victories possible out of the Washington Bullets. . . .

There will be at least 10 players named Williams. . . .

Pat Riley will win a close decision over Chuck Daly in the greater New York metropolitan area coaches’ sartorial contest. . . .

The easiest shots--slam dunks--will draw the biggest crowd reactions. . . .

Dan Issel and Ron Rothstein will wish they had stayed in the broadcasting booth. . . .

Scouts will say the next college draft is going to be weak. . . .

The Boston Celtics’ basic, uncluttered green and white uniforms will be the sharpest looking. . . .

Doug Collins will be mentioned any time a coaching job opens. . . .

Dallas, Minnesota, Denver, Washington, Sacramento, Milwaukee, Philadelphia, Atlanta, Houston, New Jersey and Detroit will miss the playoffs and make the lottery draft. . . .

Michael Jordan will take five steps and not be called for traveling. . . .

The Golden State Warriors will have a hole in the middle. . . .

Tracy Murray will win a game for the Portland Trailblazers on a 40-foot bomb. . . .

At least once a week, Hakeem Olajuwon will ask to be traded. . . .

Tim Hardaway--not John Stockton or Kevin Johnson--will be the finest point guard. . . .

Larry Bird will miss the game even more than the fans will miss him. . . .

The Chicago Bulls will win their third consecutive NBA championship by beating the Phoenix Suns in five games.