Reality Becomes a Bedtime Story : Literature: Real-life issues, such as death and divorce, are popular topics of children’s books. But some caution against overuse of ‘bibliotherapy.’

The days of nursery rhymes and fairy tales aren’t exactly over, but a relatively new type of children’s book is muscling its way onto kid’s bookshelves.

According to Kathy East, president of the Assn. for Library Service to Children, “realistic fiction”--storybooks that deal with real-life issues--has burgeoned over the past five years.

Choose a book at random off the shelf at a children’s bookstore and it’s just as likely to be a title like “Losing Uncle Tim” as it is “Peter Rabbit.”

As family life becomes increasingly complicated, and discussions of unsettling topics more open, parents are finding that issues such as death, divorce, aging, single parenthood, sibling rivalry and illiteracy make practical bedtime story material.

“Before, we saw this type of information coming from doctors’ offices or mental health clinics,” East says. “But now we’re seeing it in mainstream children’s book publishing.”

Louise Bates Ames, co-founder and associate director of the Gesell Institute of Human Development in New Haven, Conn., says publishers and parents can get carried away with “bibliotherapy,” as it is called. “There are a few too many of these types of books; you have to be selective about their use.”

Ames says that when it comes to everyday transitions, like going to school for the first time or the birth of a sibling, most kids will eventually handle the change well.

“There’s no sense putting anxiety into their minds,” she says, by reading a story in which the main characters have fears that are completely alien to the child. But, she notes, “if it’s an issue that’s going to be tough and the parents don’t know how to bring it up, some of these books can be excellent.”

East says it’s important for children faced with difficult emotional problems to know that they’re not alone. “Kids need to be reassured that there are other children in the world experiencing some of the emotions they are,” she says.

In addition, the new breed of realistic fiction can help children think about potentially upsetting topics from the safe haven of a parent’s lap.

East mentions Eve Bunting’s “Fly Away Home,” a picture book about a homeless father and son who live in an airline terminal. “It’s the kind of book you hope a parent will discover, read and share with their child. Homelessness is a reality in our world and it’s something we need to think about.”

Peter Glassman, co-owner and founder of Books of Wonder, a children’s bookstore in New York City and Beverly Hills, agrees. “The best way to introduce your child to life’s negatives is in the safety of your arms.”

However, Glassman, who has been a bookseller for 16 years, says many parents view today’s realistic fiction as a cure-all; they want a book that will solve the problem for them. “The more complex the problem, the more important discussion between parent and child becomes,” he says.

Glassman’s primary complaint is that children’s books are becoming so instructional, the lesson or message takes precedence over the story.

If children grow up thinking that books are merely sources of information, rather than entertainment, they will not become avid readers, he says.

So Glassman refuses to carry any book that is solely a problem-solver. “The story has to come first, the message second.” For parents who come to his store desperate for help in solving a specific problem, Glassman suggests the library.

“Once the problem is solved, you don’t want a physical reminder of it,” he says. “If parents are going to buy books for their children, they should be books that a child will return to over and over again.”

Glassman adds, “there’s a whole generation of paranoid parents out there; parents who are nervous about making mistakes. But what they have to realize is that no one who wrote a book knows their child better than they do.”