Will Letterman Inspire Stupid News Tricks at 2?

NBC’s David Letterman traveling to 11:30 p.m. on CBS? The possibility appears to be growing.

But the big question is not how well Letterman would do in the ratings opposite Jay Leno, Arsenio Hall, Ted Koppel and anyone else who ultimately surfaces in that time slot. He’d do fine. Bank on it.

The big question is how creative KCBS-TV Channel 2 would get in attempting to tie its 11 p.m. newscast to the Letterman show.

No station in town is more expert or aggressive at cross-promoting news and entertainment. Yet with so much of its 11 p.m. newscast already tied to CBS prime-time programs, Channel 2 might be in a bind. It most likely would have to sacrifice some of its live coverage of the previous day’s crimes to squeeze in Letterman stories the way it invents stories that coincide with its 5 p.m. news lead-in, “Geraldo.”

But when great minds get together, amazing achievements are possible. Let’s see. . . .

* “Live at 11, the real story behind the MonkeyCam.”

* “Dave’s Top 10 reasons to watch ‘Action News,’ exclusively at 11.”

* “Coming at 11, stupid news tricks.”

There are other options. Channel 2 could hire Letterman announcer Bill Wendell to do a Letterman-style intro: “And now, the news staffers that nobody knows because they just arrived from Fresno by bus, here’s. . . .”

Plus, “Action News” could be anchored on occasion by Larry (Bud) Melman. Michael Tuck could start flipping pencils after each story. News sketches are another strong possibility. And now and then, Paul Shaffer could fly the skies in Chopper 2.

Better yet, given Channel 2’s penchant for faking backgrounds on the order of its recent electronically simulated “Satellite Center,” why not just find a way to Chroma-Key all of “Action News” right into the Letterman show?

The funniest news show wed to the funniest talk show? A perfect marriage.

Correction: Actually, David Letterman does not have the funniest talk show. Garry Shandling does.

Well, actually, Shandling’s weekly HBO series, “The Larry Sanders Show,” is not a talk show but a brilliant talk-show parody whose studio sequences track so closely to the real thing that a viewer tuning in for the first time could easily become confused.

And feeding the confusion, HBO has been rerunning the first batch of episodes at 11 p.m., a talk-show time slot where “Arsenio” appears on KCOP-TV Channel 13. The HBO series will resume production in February, with its new episodes scheduled to start airing in June.

With Rip Torn and Jeffrey Tambor outstanding as his producer and announcer/sidekick, respectively, Shandling’s epically comical, two-faced Sanders is as insecure off stage as he is smooth and assured in front of the camera. What makes the series especially unique, though, is its ability to overlap reality by having celebrities appear on Sanders’ Leno-style talk show as themselves.

A recent episode even had Sanders nervously fretting about one of his guest hosts--Dana Carvey playing himself--getting an offer to head his own talk show on CBS opposite Sanders’ show. A comment on the incestuous professional relationships among many of today’s top comics, this could have easily been Leno (who did some of his best work as a guest on Letterman’s show in the 1980s) worrying about Letterman moving to CBS. The episode ended with Carvey assuring his friend, Sanders, that he wasn’t taking the CBS offer, then immediately announcing that he could be in line for an NBC talk show opposite Sanders.

As it turns out, “Saturday Night Live” star Carvey does have a long-term deal with NBC that some speculate would make him Letterman’s successor at 12:30 p.m. should Letterman depart.

Yes, it is very confusing. The only certainty is that Howard Stern will not show up on CBS at 11:30 p.m. Then there’s Joey Bishop. . . .

Just the Facts: Last week, when the severed arms of a woman (who has since been identified) washed ashore at Venice Beach and Marina Del Rey, Channel 2 sent Jody Baskerville in pursuit of the story. Baskerville to a police official: “Do you suspect foul play?”

Applause: Local news minidocs--those multipart series on single topics that are spread across the better part of a week--generally contain less stuff than fluff.

Some recent exceptions: A tough series by Channel 2’s Terry Anzur on allegations of animal mistreatment at the Los Angeles Zoo and free-lance reporter Russ Nichols’ series for KABC-TV Channel 7 chronicling the adoption of a Peruvian child by Nichols and his wife, Barbara. The adoption process was an incredible odyssey that ended happily despite barriers of Peruvian political chaos and bureaucratic red tape. And the series, featuring some very arresting footage from Peru, was heartwarming without being corny or maudlin.

But the minidoc with the maxi-punch was last week’s shocking investigative series by Channel 7’s Christine Lund on inhumane treatment of horses slaughtered in the United States for meat that is then sold abroad.

A horsewoman herself, Lund documented the dark side of an industry that she said is unregulated while earning $700 million a year.

Going undercover, Lund witnessed horses suffering at slaughterhouses. “I saw no water, no feed. It was devastating to watch the last moments of life.” But her most harrowing footage showed undernourished slaughter-bound horses being cruelly and abusively utilized in rodeos before being dispatched to their deaths.

As a bonus, Lund provided phone numbers that the public could call to learn more about the topic. Her only misstep was in using somber music--an absolute no-no for a hard news story--as background for parts of her series. Artificial stimulus was unneeded. The pictures--almost unbearable to watch in some cases--spoke for themselves.