Green Bay Provides the Cold Shoulder

S o, how cold was it?

It was so cold, a quarterback froze. That ice sculpture wearing the white jersey and No. 11 and many Green Bay Packer linemen as Christmas ornaments? That was Jim Everett, or so I am told.

It was so cold, Cleveland Gary only fumbled once. That can happen when you lick your fingers before touching a frozen object.

It was so cold, Chuck Knox went undercover. First the thermals, then the ski pants, then the down parka, then the insulated gloves, then navy blue ski mask, then the dark sunglasses. In case you missed him, he was the one in front of the Ram bench, looking like the submarine captain from “Ice Station Zebra.”

It was so cold, 11 football players went into hibernation. Those would be the members of the Ram offense, who scored 10 points in the game’s first 16 minutes and three the rest of the way.

But didn’t Chuck Knox used to call this kind of weather “Ram weather”?

Yes, but that was in his first incarnation as Ram coach, when he could hand the ball to Lawrence McCutcheon, who knew how to skate and chew yardage at the same time, and hand a 10-7 lead over to Merlin Olsen, Jack Youngblood and Isiah Robertson, who knew how to protect it.

Even at that, however, “Ram weather” was generally losing weather. Between 1973 and 1977, Knox’s Rams were 0-3-1 in Minnesota, 1-1 in Green Bay and 0-2 in Washington in games played against the Redskins during December.

This time around, “Ram weather” means perfect conditions. Playing in Tampa Bay, against the Tampa Bay defense, qualifies. So does playing against New England’s offense, anywhere and just about any time you want to name.

Was there a turning point in Green Bay?

You mean, other than the Rams getting off the team plane?

The first play of the second quarter must get serious consideration. Third and goal from the Packer one-yard line, two plays after David Lang’s Iditarod ride down Lambeau Field’s left sideline.

Rams lead, 7-0.

Rams call timeout, wanting to make sure they get this one right.

After much deliberation, Knox and offensive coordinator come up with this: A pitchback to Lang, who breaks left and then cuts back inside, hoping to catch the Green Bay defense leaning the wrong way.

The only one leaning the wrong way is Lang, who is knocked back on his heels and buried under at the line of scrimmage.

No gain.

Rams settle for a chip-shot field goal and a 10-0 lead, instead of 14-0, and the Packers bounce off the field, emotionally recharged, feeling as though they’ve pulled off the great escape.

Lang had just sprinted 71 yards in nine-degree weather, not counting the wind-chill factor. He also carried on first and goal from the three. Wouldn’t he have been too winded to try it again on such an important third-down play?

You would think so.

Wouldn’t a play-action pass by Everett, rolling right, have made more sense than pitching the ball five yards behind the line of scrimmage to a 210-pound fullback who had just run 71 yards?

You would think so.

And what was Everett doing in shotgun formation, in his own end zone, on third and long with 5:30 left in the first half?

These are good questions, all of them.

From the shotgun, Everett was isolated--an easy target, since the Packers knew no handoff was coming. So the Packers blitzed--and defensive end Lester Archambeau forced Everett into lofting a hurried floater into the icy wind, which carried the football high and wide left, far away from any Ram.

Only Green Bay cornerback Terrell Buckley had any chance at the ball. But to get to it, Buckley had to sprint deep and make an over-the-shoulder catch.

Stunned, the Rams could only stand and watch as Buckley weaved from one side of the tundra to the other, meandering all the way from the 33 to the goal line, beating Everett to the end zone pylon for the Packers’ first lead of the afternoon, 14-10, the only one they would need. If it was so cold, how were the Packers able to score 28 points in the last seven minutes of the second quarter?

They have a quarterback, Brett Favre, who can outrun a glacier and, on occasion, throw while on the move.

They have a wide receiver, Sterling Sharpe, who, within the passing scheme of former 49er offensive coordinator Mike Holmgren, has been transformed into something resembling a frostbitten Jerry Rice.

They were playing the Rams.

Didn’t the Packers finish 4-12 last season, one game better than the Rams? Weren’t both of these teams supposed to take their time and slowly rebuild?

Yeah, but the Packers got there in 3 1/2 months.

Their six-game winning streak is the franchise’s longest since 1965, the middle of the Lombardi era, and at 9-6, they will enter the regular season’s final weekend with a shot at the NFC’s last remaining wild-card berth.

At 5-10, the Rams will point to the comparative schedules and, yes, the Rams did play four games against San Francisco and New Orleans while the Packers had six against Chicago, Detroit and Tampa Bay. But the Green Bay winning streak does include victories over Philadelphia and Houston.

And, it is a winning streak.

The Rams haven’t had one of those--back-to-back victories--since October, 1991.

Well, at least the Rams won’t have any more cold-weather games this season, right?

That’s the beauty of missing the playoffs for the third consecutive year.

Good thing that hockey franchise is coming.

Finally, Anaheim will have a team that knows how to play on ice.