Don’t Let Kids’ Selfishness Sink In

It saddened me to read the column in which Lila Petersen described her disappointment in her daughter’s rejection of her at this holiday season (“First Person: Some Parents Finish Last on Kids’ List of What’s Important,” Dec. 23). She and her friends have all been hurt by the thoughtlessness of their children.

If she and her friends enjoy the holiday custom of entertaining and gift giving with no expectations of what their children would do in response, they might be happier. Then when they are thanked and acknowledged it would be a wonderful gift, and if they are not thanked, they would still have had the pleasure of shopping and making those special gifts. And, if they get inappropriate gifts, they will thank the givers and add them to the pile of white elephants that get passed along to charities.

Different generations do have differences in how holidays are celebrated. Each generation may see the other as selfish and narcissistic. Each may have inflated expectations of the other’s behavior. Instead of griping and complaining, I would suggest that Petersen and her friends begin to conjure up new ways to celebrate together, to have fun and share joy.

MARCIA C. SPIEGEL

Rolling Hills Estates