I Never Cooked for My Father

It seems he will be alone on Valentine’s Day. I will be too. And so I will make him a pie and take it over, and we will spend half an hour, or at most an hour, together. More than that and our old issues come up. For half an hour we can give each other all the love we have for each other.

He is old. Very old, by most standards: He is 86. But he doesn’t think he is old, and that makes him younger than his actual years.

There are several women in his life. There is the woman he sits next to at the Waffle House at breakfast. They each have their favorite stools, his being next to the place he can rest his cane. A widow, she works two jobs and is 25 years younger than he. They talk on the phone more than they meet.

And then there is my mother, from whom he’s been divorced 40 years. They too get along best on the phone. And, of course, there is me.

His favorite pie is Chocolate Silk Pie. Although any pie is better than none, he loves the denseness of chocolate on his tongue. We once had one of our debates about whether it is more silky than satiny. Silk is lighter and softer, I think, whereas satin--his description--lies a bit more heavily and has a slickness.

It’s a beautiful pie, white and black, full of contrasts. He’ll enjoy it, as he always does. I bring it to him when I want him to know he is loved.

For a large part of my life, we didn’t get along. He believed in the rod and I hated it, being the recipient. He is a military man, full of rules and regulations. I hate rules. I am not known for my tidiness. Now, however, we have made our peace.

Every day, he goes to the Waffle House and sits at his favorite seat; the waitress automatically brings him a cup of coffee and a slice of pie. Sometimes he eats it there, but most often he brings it home and saves it to eat while he watches his favorite TV show.

I am making this pie for him because it is my way of telling him that I love him. I don’t expect him to forgo his trip to the Waffle House for more than a day--he will eat just a slice and give the rest away. But he’ll feel better knowing I brought it. And deep down, we both know mine is better.

CHOCOLATE SILK PIE 1 1/4 cups plus 1/3 cup sugar 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 cup cornstarch 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder 5 eggs, separated 2 1/2 cups milk 1 ounce semisweet chocolate 2 teaspoons vanilla 1/8 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1 baked (9-inch) pie crust

Combine 1 1/4 cups sugar, salt, cornstarch and cocoa in large saucepan. Mix thoroughly.

Whisk together egg yolks and milk in bowl. Pour egg mixture into saucepan with cocoa mixture, whisking until sugar has dissolved.

Set over medium heat and cook, stirring, until custard is smooth, thick and shiny, 5 to 10 minutes. Boil custard 1 minute, stirring constantly to prevent sticking or scorching. Remove from heat. Add chocolate, vanilla and cinnamon and stir until chocolate dissolves. Place sheet of plastic wrap on custard so it does not form skin.

To prepare meringue, beat together egg whites and remaining 1/3 cup sugar until soft peaks form. Set aside.

Pour custard into pie crust. Top with meringue, spreading all way to edge. Bake at 350 degrees until top is golden brown, 6 to 8 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool at room temperature 1 hour. Cover and refrigerate at least 3 hours before cutting. Makes 1 (9-inch) pie, about 8 servings.

Note: If whipped cream topping is desired, pour custard into pre-baked pie shell, cover with sheet of plastic wrap and chill. Omit egg whites and 1/3 cup sugar. Whip 1/2 to 3/4 cup whipping cream and 1/2 to 1 tablespoon powdered sugar, if desired, and spread over chilled pie. There is no need to bake it, as there is with meringue topping.

Each serving contains about: 482 calories; 301 mg sodium; 139 mg cholesterol; 19 grams fat; 70 grams carbohydrates; 9 grams protein; 0.26 gram fiber.