It Seems Like Everyone Is Talking About It. Some Like It. Many Hate It. But as Long as There Is Hockey in Anaheim, There Will Be Plenty of Duck Tales : Chill Out, This Is Supposed to Be Fun

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on there a minute, sports grumps.

How come it was so funny when everybody else called Orange County’s expansion hockey club the Mighty Ducks but now that the team has actually been named the Mighty Ducks, it’s some kind of travesty?

You were expecting, maybe, the Anaheim Chilis?

Mighty Ducks is a silly name, you say.

Well, of course it’s silly. That’s rather the point, isn’t it? Disney deals in silliness.

What could be nuttier, for instance, than the idea of a round-eared mouse named Mickey having a pet dog named Pluto and a friend dog named Goofy?

So when Disney springs for a hockey team, silliness is to be expected.

Besides, isn’t it about time somebody started having fun with sports again? We’re talking sports here, folks, not brain surgery or international diplomacy. It’s supposed to be fun and games.

Trouble is these days, there are way too many games--some of them even on the playing surfaces--and not nearly enough fun. In fact, there hasn’t been any real, honest-to-goodness, goofy fun in sports since the late Bill Veeck was wacking it up with his baseball teams. OK, OK, so I forgot the ’62 Mets. But in their case, it was no fun intended.

When did this sporty stuff get so grimly serious? Aren’t spectator sports supposed to be entertainment, diversion from everyday cares? Don’t people have enough serious stuff in their lives?

So the Dodgers had a lousy season last year. What of it? This is something to be upset about? The Dodgers pay people quite handsomely to worry about their lousy seasons and how to make sure they aren’t repeated. Let those guys be upset.

And speaking of the Dodgers, isn’t that just one heck of a name for a baseball team? Ah, but that’s only half of it. Back in their early Brooklyn days, they weren’t just the Dodgers, they were the Trolley Dodgers. How silly does Mighty Ducks sound now?

Actually, Mighty Ducks is the only name that should ever have been considered for this team. Many teams have names that reflect occupations or activities common to their areas or history--the Dallas Cowboys, the Milwaukee Brewers, the Hartford Whalers, the Portland Trail Blazers. The Mighty Ducks are merely observing that tradition.

How so? Well, stop and think for a second. What is Anaheim famous for? Anaheim is famous for only one thing, Disneyland. Therefore, it is altogether fitting that a Disney-owned hockey team in Anaheim be named after a Disney movie about a hockey team.

Not only that, the Mighty Ducks are following an Orange County precedent for, um, unusual team nicknames. The Rams and Angels are out of step here because they started out as L.A. teams, but for years, now, UC Irvine’s Anteaters have been striking fear into the hearts of Southland ants. Now, if only the UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs could move to O.C.

Some have conceded that although Mighty Ducks is kind of cute, it would be much more appropriate for a kids’ team, that it lacks dignity for an NHL team.

Come on, folks. This is the NHL we’re talking about, the league that, until just a few months ago, had a president whose everyday attire should have been floppy shoes, greasepaint, a bulbous red nose and a billowing white suit with big red polka dots. John Ziegler didn’t mean to be funny, but whenever there were crises to be met, you could be sure he would meet them with decisions--or non-decisions--and statements goofier than anything Disney ever came up with.

Besides, dignity and hockey are hardly go-together words. They not only don’t belong in the same sentence, they hardly belong in the same language.

And when it comes to nicknames, the NHL can certainly use something a little different. The Blackhawks, the Red Wings, the Senators, the Flames, the Canadiens, the Nordiques (what the heck is a Nordique?), the Kings . . . Common as dust and dull, dull, dull.

So Michael Eisner, Disney’s front man, brought a brass band, cheerleaders, roller hockey players, Disney characters, Mickey Mouse balloons and confetti to the news conference announcing the team’s name and start-up date. Sounds as though a good time was had by all.

So he asked Bruce McNall, the owner of the Kings and chairman of the NHL’s board of governors, and Gary Bettman, the league’s new commissioner, to quack through Disney duck calls. You can bet each has done sillier things.

In just one memorable news conference, Eisner brought more fun to sports than sports has had in ages. The only question is, what will he do for an encore? Some of us can hardly wait. So, go, Mighty Ducks!

And you grumps, lighten up.