Fast Food Keeps Clark in Fast Lane

Jack Clark, former San Francisco Giant, former St. Louis Cardinal, former New York Yankee, former San Diego Padre and, now, former Boston Red Sock, is in between jobs again, his baseball career idling as it awaits Chapter 6.

Don’t ask about Chapter 7. Clark has been there and back, having filed for bankruptcy last year after falling $6.7 million in debt.

A streak hitter, Clark always was prone to slumps.

Knowing how Clark got there-- Cars! Cars! Cars! --it was something of a jolt to see him in Irvine Tuesday, unveiling the latest creation of Jack Clark Motorsports, a retooled and refurbished 5,000-horsepower Top Fuel dragster, “one of the baddest dudes around,” in the humble estimation of its owner.

Next door, you half-expected to find Steve Howe holding his own press conference to introduce a new line of pharmaceuticals.

Drag racing is the hair of the dog that bit Clark, chomped him good, causing him to lose more than $1 million in 1991 alone. Clark had to “park” the dragster after four races in 1992 because “I didn’t have any sponsorship and, basically, I was supporting the whole effort. It’s a love of mine--it gets in your blood, to where you’ve got to have it and you’ve got to keep doing it--but it gets to a point where you’ve just got to put your foot down and say, ‘No, it can’t go any further.’ ”

Smart thinking, that.

Not-so-smart thinking: Parking that rod (estimated cost: $40,000) next to the other 18 cars Clark owned at the time.

Three Mercedes. Two Ferraris. Three GM vans. And then there was Clark’s collection of “classic” autos from the ‘30s and the ‘50s.

Eighteen cars.

Clark sank deeper into debt by building a $2.4-million home in Danville, Calif., which seems a tad ostentatious until you consider: The man needed a big garage.

After the lawyers came to town, Clark lost the classics.

“I had to prioritize things,” is how Clark puts it. “I didn’t need a collection of ‘50s cars. I enjoyed them and appreciated them, but it wasn’t something me and my family could enjoy as much as (drag racing) . . . I just kept my personal cars.”

Clark had 11 of those.

At the same time, Clark had 11 doubles and five home runs in 81 games for the Red Sox. More cars than extra base hits--not numbers generally conducive to job security for a 37-year-old designated hitter.

More and more, drag racing looked less like a hobby for Clark. “What line of work, what direction do I want to go in when I’m done playing baseball?” Clark said. “Drag racing was something I was already set up for.”

But Clark learned something about drag racing during Chapter 7 proceedings.

“If you don’t run it like a business,” he said, “financially, it’ll eat you up. You’re talking about nitro fuel, tires, payrolls and salaries. It adds up to quite a bit.”

Before the lawyers would allow Clark back on the track, Clark needed to line up a sponsor. That is why Clark’s dragster is today called the “Taco Bell Express,” trimmed in Taco Bell pink, green and yellow, and gearing up, according to the press packet, to make a “Run For The Quarter-Mile Border.”

If Taco Bell can bail out Willie Nelson, why not Jack Clark?

As friends and media types devoured free burritos and Chilitos, Clark talked excitedly about his new financial backer and the challenge of chasing “the McDonald’s car, which is the most consistent car out there right now.”

Declared Clark: “The burger-taco wars are on.”

Between now and his first race--in Atlanta in late April--Clark would like to enlist another sponsor. Say, the Oakland A’s or the New York Yankees. Since his release by the Red Sox on Feb. 26, Clark has been on the phone, talking to his agent about prospective employers.

He’s still talking, because the call Clark really wanted never came.

“The team I’m most interested in is the Angels,” Clark said. The bombshells never cease. “I live in Newport Beach, I grew up in Covina. I wanted to be an Angel and finish my career there, especially with Whitey Herzog (Clark’s former manager in St. Louis) there.

“But I guess Buck Rodgers had some different feelings.

“Maybe I had bad games against them. Maybe I should have done a little better when I played them, I don’t know.”

No, Clark’s main roadblock in Anaheim is named Chili Davis. Same problem in Seattle. The Mariners already have a designated hitter, Pete O’Brien. Well, OK, the Mariners also have a manager named Lou Piniella.

“I played for Piniella in New York,” Clark said, “and me and him weren’t on the greatest of terms. That probably had something with me not being there.”

Oakland? “(Tony) LaRussa said he was intrigued. I read something about that,” Clark said.

New York? Giving birth to The Yankee Ripper, Vol. II? “With George (Steinbrenner) coming back, you never know. George was really, really good to me when I was there. If there was a spot for me, I’d go back and play there because of George.”

Clark suspects he’ll be playing again by opening day, because he suspects he’s the best bargain on the free-agent market now. Since he cleared waivers, you can have Jack Clark--340 career home runs, 28 as recently as 1991--in your lineup tomorrow and all it will cost you is the major-league minimum, $109,000. Boston picks up the rest of the $2.4 million.

“Somebody’s going to get a lot--a lot for nothing,” Clark said. “I spend a lot of time with the younger players. I’ve got a lot of experience. I can still play. I can still hit. And they’re going to pay me the minimum of what they would pay a rookie.

“Basically, I’ll be playing for free.”

If Clark didn’t know a deal when he was shelling out $100,000 per Mercedes, he says he does now.