And the whiner is. . . :...

And the whiner is. . . : The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences!

At least, according to Dale Blum, owner of a Chester, N.J., shop called Academy Awards.

Blum has been told by the movie group to rename her engraving-and-awards business because Academy Awards is a registered trademark.

“I kind of like the idea that they would think that a very small shop back here would be competition,” Blum said. But she’s also puzzled over the timing since she has been in business since 1981 (the year “Chariots of Fire” won for best picture).

The movie group has won similar judgments against several other shops named Academy Awards, partly on the grounds that customers might assume they were buying a product endorsed by the academy.

Blum, by the way, had an aesthetic objection to the warning letter she received from the L.A. law firm of Quinn Emanuel Urquhart & Oliver.

“They forgot the commas,” she said of the letterhead. “If I made a mistake like that on a plaque, I’d have to do it over.”

How to avoid the crying game: “Celebrate the Academy Awards ‘pain and stress-free,’ ” says the offer from Oppenheim Chiropractic of Toluca Lake. (Oppenheim is talking about the Oscars telecast, not the New Jersey shop.)

The chiropractors will give “a FREE spinal exam” Sunday morning to “all studio employees . . . record company employees . . . and artists, musicians, actors and actresses with AFTRA, SAG, DGA, MPHW, etc.”

And, no doubt, your agent can get 10% of his vertebrae checked.

Ex-Scout’s honor: Yes, we did vote for the winning chocolate pizza entry concocted by the Westin Bonaventure’s Werner Glur in the Girl Scout Cookie Sweet-Off. It was an exhausting job for the media judges, forced to sample the cookie-based desserts of Glur as well as chefs from Orleans, Il Fornaio, Shangri-La and Spago at the L.A. World Trade Center. We question Spago’s strategy of going with a banana caramel tart rather than a goat cheese mint.

We see a painter in the shop’s future: Steven Dorfman, who took today’s photo of a Melrose establishment, says the sign reminded him of the old vaudeville routine that begins, “Would you like your palm red?”

And Ted Turner had nothing to do with it: By the way, we hope you have enjoyed the first colorized version of Only in L.A.

miscelLAny:

The nickname of the new California League baseball team in Rancho Cucamonga is the Quakes.

STEVEN DORFMAN