A Channel for Everything--Even Car Chases : Television: Just think: 24 hours of Amy Fisher movies, even a Tom and Roseanne channel’s possible.

It’s true that cable has given television a measure of diversity. Yet there remain too many times when cable and regular telecasting are indistinguishable.

The good news is that narrowcasting--the kind of programming for specialized audiences once foreseen as the unique future of cable--is again getting attention. Said to be either in the works or in the proposal stage for cable are a food channel, a fitness and exercise channel and two networks devoted exclusively to history. Very ambitious.

There’s so much more to be done, however, so many specialized audiences going unserved. Fortunately, this critical need has been noticed by some perceptive members of the public. Hence, these proposals for helping to narrow the narrowcasting gap:

* The Car Chase Channel (CCC), concept by USC student Vincent Filippone.

It’s true that some Los Angeles stations devote up to an hour a day to live chopper coverage of police pursuing speeding suspects across freeways. Although marvelous stuff, this is still inadequate to satisfy the ravenous appetites of chase junkies. They deserve their own channel.

Thus, much like cable’s Court TV, the 24-hour CCC would deploy cameras across the country to bring viewers car chases from virtually everywhere, anytime. You awaken at 3 a.m. with a fierce hunger for a high-speed pursuit? Turn on CCC.

Think of the possibilities: Live coverage of chases could be supplemented by taped replays of earlier chases and even spectacular chase sequences from movies such as “The French Connection.”

There could be a Chase Climax of the Day, featuring close-up aerial pictures of a bloody shootout. There could be chase game shows, “Wheel of Pursuit” or “Highway Patrol Family Feud” or “The Speed Is Right, with police officers, news chopper reporters and chase suspects competing for prizes. And amateurs with camcorders would be encouraged to hit the freeways themselves to shoot footage for a CCC show called “America’s Fastest Videos.”

* The Amy Fisher Channel (AFC), concept by NBC/Mutual radio reporter Steve Futterman.

Three Amy Fisher movies, yes. Two TV mock Amy Fisher trials, yes. A spate of Amy Fisher tabloid stories and talk show topics, yes. A new Amy Fisher musical spoof in Greenwich Village, yes. A just-published Amy Fisher autobiography, yes. Hot-off-the-presses Amy Fisher comic books, yes.

It’s enough for some, but not for dedicated Amy Fisherphiles like Futterman, who wants to be CEO of the new round-the-clock AFC. “Our slogan would be ‘All Amy, All the Time,’ ” he says.

The centerpiece of AFC would be its daily in-depth Amy Fisher Action News. “But we’d also rerun the Amy Fisher TV movies once a week and make sequels,” says Futterman. “We’d also buy the rights from ‘Donahue,’ ‘Oprah,’ ‘Sally Jesse Raphael’ and all the other talk shows to rerun their Amy Fisher stuff.”

Futterman says one of his first priorities would be to ink a deal with Fox for an Amy Fisher ratings sweeps tie-in on “Beverly Hills 90210.” Futterman: “I see Amy getting released from prison, moving to Beverly Hills, breaking Brandon’s heart, having her way with Brenda and stealing Dylan from Kelly.” Ultimately, there would be a spinoff series starring Amy.

“And of course we’d televise the Joey Buttafuoco trial live,” Futterman says. “Court TV probably would do it too, but I think viewers would rather watch us.”

* The Tom and Roseanne Channel (TRC), concept by yours truly.

It’s true that Tom and Roseanne generally have wide access to the media. But there are days when viewers have to endure news stories about Bosnia or South Africa or the Clintons or the economy before hearing the latest about Tom and Roseanne. And let’s face it, the media are fickle. All too often there are hours, occasionally even a day or two, when Tom and Roseanne aren’t on television at all. This is intolerable.

Consequently, the innovative TRC, fronted by a host along the lines of Alistair Cooke, formerly of “Masterpiece Theatre.” That spot could be ably filled by the Arnolds’ reliable shill, Sam Rubin, the entertainment reporter for KTLA-TV Channel 5’s “Morning News.” Occasionally, instead of sitting in an easy chair, he could sit on Tom’s or Roseanne’s lap.

TRC would start each morning patriotically, with Roseanne singing the National Anthem. TRC would be wallpapered with Tom and Roseanne, not only drawing on a vast tape library of their TV appearances--as well as new hilarious episodes of “The Jackie Thomas Show”--but also featuring live cut-ins on the hour from their home. Thus America would have regular access to the Arnolds’ wisdom on any issue they might address. Tom and Roseanne may want to preview their latest smutty faxes, for example, or discuss “The Jackie Thomas Show” and other cutting-edge career moves for Tom.

In addition to these thoughtful, stimulating interludes, TRC would feature lighter “Minute by Minute” updates with Rubin catching up on what Tom and Roseanne are doing at any given moment: “Tom did what at breakfast?”

Some other likely TRC components:

“Letting Off Steam.” Tom and Roseanne give daily updates on who is currently teeing them off.

“We’re Sweet On Us.” Candid footage of Tom and Roseanne engaging in chewing gum fights and other playfully romantic escapades.

“Arnolds’ Most Wanted.” Regular bulletins identifying, vilifying and spreading nasty rumors about members of the media who have irritated Tom and Roseanne.

“Kicking Back.” Alternate title: “Getting Lewd.” A nightly visit with Tom and Roseanne after hours, as they let down their hair, show off their latest body tattoos and make coarse, obnoxious sounds, just because they can.

Of course, like the Car Chase Channel and the Amy Fisher Channel, the Tom and Roseanne Channel would be accessible to viewers only by subscription, and its availability would depend on the cooperation and good will of individual cable systems. If some cable systems foolishly choose not to carry TRC, Tom and Roseanne could always drop by and, you know, lean on them.