And Denver Has Dropped to Sea Level

The war of words between quarterback John Elway of the Denver Broncos and Coach Dan Reeves of the New York Giants has been one highlight of a quiet NFL training camp period.

After a decade of working together in Denver, Reeves was fired last season, and Elway recently broke his silence on their relationship by saying the last three years had been hell and that he would not have been back if Reeves were still in charge. Reeves said he hopes Elway grows up one day.

According to Bob Kravitz of the Rocky Mountain News, any assumption that Elway was not the primary factor behind Reeves’ ouster is as believable as these claims:

--Dikembe Mutombo was actually born a small white child in the town of Newton, Mass.

--JFK was actually assassinated by Barney the Dinosaur.

--The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are just one player away from winning that elusive Super Bowl.

Trivia time: The Elway-Reeves rift made the cover of Sports Illustrated last week. How many times has Elway been on the cover, and who is the current leader among active NFL players?

Keeping mouth shut: The Philadelphia Inquirer, amused by the gag order issued by Eagle Coach Rich Kotite, who forbade his players to say anything negative about the team, ran the following editorial: “On behalf of the grouchiest and nastiest members of the Philadelphia Eagles football team, it should be said that Rich Kotite (despite being a nice, generous guy off the gridiron) appears to be an insecure, paranoid, defensive, impersonal, cold fish of a coach if there ever was one. . . .”

See ya’ NFL: Jacksonville officials recently announced that they were ending the Florida city’s bid for an NFL expansion franchise.

Convinced that their primary competition for a team was Charlotte, about 300 Jacksonville citizens floated a barge containing an outline of North Carolina, with Charlotte designated by a bull’s eye, down the St. John’s River. As the crowd cheered, a fake missile was fired through the bull’s eye.

On the wrong track: Greg LeMond’s struggles this year did not end when he failed to start the Tour de France because of chronic fatigue. During a training ride last month, LeMond, a three-time Tour winner, broke his right wrist and will miss this month’s World Championships.

“I went over some railroad tracks, and there were some gaps between them,” he told VeloNews. “I kind of jumped one--and I went down.”

Please don’t go: According to Jon Heyman of Newsday, people in San Diego should do anything they want, as long as they don’t attend a Padre game.

“There’s nothing to see at Jack Murphy Stadium, anyway,” he wrote, “In this park without charm you’ll find a team without talent and management without a conscience. It’s a rare trifecta.”

A foot apart?Former Raider Ronnie Lott is one of 36 new faces in the New York Jets’ training camp. He has distinguished himself, however, not by his reputation as a tough hitter but by his shoes.

Lott has been working out in black shoes, while the rest of the team wears white.

“It’s not for any symbol,” he said. “It’s a soccer shoe. It relieves a little tension in my knees, my ankles, my toes. It’s just a more comfortable shoe for me.”

Trivia answer: Elway has made the cover six times; Joe Montana is the leader with 10.

Quotebook: Alabama football Coach Gene Stallings, on local expectations for his team: “Most (schools) are tickled to win the national championship. Here, our people talk about winning it again. You say, ‘What about last year?’ And they say, ‘Last year’s gone, brother!’ ”