Rison Looks to Add Stealing to His List of New Activities

Andre Rison, a wide receiver for the Atlanta Falcons, is considering playing basketball in Europe.

“I know I could take those guys,” Rison told Pro Football Weekly. “There are a lot of stiffs being imported over there, and they’re coming back here with all that money.

“Damn, it’s like stealing. Showtime in Europe? Yeah, I could see it now. I’d be taking people to the hoop in about 10 different languages.”

Rison might be going some other place after recently being charged with assaulting his girlfriend and firing a gun in public.

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Trivia time: Who was the last Dodger to lead the National League in stolen bases?

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Evil eye: Larry Guest of the Orlando Sentinel on college football:

“College fans are funnier than people. I know a guy in Alabama who takes out his regular glass eye and inserts a special one on game days with the inscription ‘ROLL TIDE,’ encircling the pupil.”

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Alternatives: From Art Spander of the San Francisco Examiner: “Dan Jenkins, the author and journalist, once wrote there are 10 things he’d rather do than watch an NFL game, particularly an exhibition. Among them were eating a fish head, joining a religious cult and discussing wine.”

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Duck basher: From Rachel Shuster of USA Today: “Why would the NFL select any expansion team that even considered calling itself the Rhinos? Aren’t the Mighty Ducks bad enough?”

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Objectivity: KFAN in Minneapolis promises “impartial, unbiased coverage of the Vikings and their pitiful, pathetic opponents.”

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New (York) math: Met broadcaster Ralph Kiner, after a batter struck out against San Diego’s Andy Benes:

“That was Benes’ fifth strikeout on the day. He came in with 94, so now he has 104 strikeouts on the year.”

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Is that all? Anthony Dorsett Jr., son of former Heisman Trophy winner Tony Dorsett, is trying to follow in his father’s footsteps at Pitt. However, he’s having some problems while playing cornerback. “He makes fundamental errors--fundamental errors that cost big touchdowns,” said Tim Lewis, who coaches Pitt’s defensive backs. “Flipping the wrong way, tripping, stumbling, falling.”

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FYI: Before losing to California, 27-25, Saturday night, UCLA had not lost to a conference opponent in its opening game since 1945, when it lost to USC, 13-6.

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Liftoff aborted: Headline from the Sacramento Bee last week after the Raiders signed Rocket Ismail and cut Todd Marinovich: “A Rocket Without a Spaceman.”

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Lost cause: The Cincinnati Reds are hopelessly out of the pennant race, and Manager Davey Johnson wonders why reporters are still covering his team. “Can’t you guys cover something more important than this? Aren’t there some boat races out there?”

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Trivia answer: Davey Lopes, with 63 in 1976.

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Quotebook: Barry Bonds of the San Francisco Giants on the National League West race with the Atlanta Braves: “If you’re chasing, you have nothing to lose. If you don’t win, you were behind anyway.”