Maybe School in Next County Has Washer-Dryer on Its Line

Mike White of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette writes that the biggest tackle tandem in the country--pro or college--might be at Ford City (Pa.) High.

“Ford City’s version of The Fridge is 6-foot-5, 430-pound Mark Kurimski. The Freezer is smaller in cubic feet, but looks a lot like The Fridge.

“That’s because 6-3, 330-pound Joe Kurimski is Mark’s brother.”

The Kurimskis line up as defensive tackles, and White notes, “When an opposing halfback runs up the gut, there’s a chance he might run into two big guts.”

Add Kurimskis: “Hard to believe, but 430-pound Mark says he doesn’t eat much,” White wrote. “He usually has a Pop-Tart for breakfast, but skips lunch and then eats dinner.”

Question: What does he have for dinner?

Trivia time: What is the listed weight of Chicago Bear defensive tackle William (the Refrigerator) Perry?

Is that all?After giving up 714 yards and 59 points to North Carolina on Saturday, Chad Wiestling, Maryland’s senior linebacker, was still unimpressed.

“Their offense was nothing spectacular,” he said. “It was just a lack of responsibility on our part in giving up the big play.”

Fickle cards: In his book, “Turning Things Around,” Dallas Cowboy Coach Jimmy Johnson wrote how confident he was about winning Super Bowl XVII against the Buffalo Bills.

“We had a royal flush, it was just a matter of dropping the cards,” Johnson wrote of the 52-17 victory.

Because his Cowboys, now 0-2, lost to Buffalo, 13-10, in a rematch last Sunday in Dallas, does that mean Johnson doesn’t even have a pair of deuces?

Simple solution: From NBC-TV analyst Mike Ditka: “If the Cowboys don’t want to go back to the Super Bowl, don’t pay Emmitt Smith.”

Tough town: From Jon Heyman of Newsday: “Are expectations high in New York? Somebody asked (Jim) Abbott if he is thinking about throwing another no-hitter.”

Same taste: From Blackie Sherrod of the Dallas Morning News: “Boxer Julio Cesar Chavez sez his family was so poor, the kids ate boiled weeds. Heck, so did everybody, only mama called it spinach.”

Trivia answer: Perry weighs 335 pounds, according to the NFL media guide.

Quotebook: Texas Ranger owner George W. Bush, who opposed the expansion of the baseball playoffs: “I made my arguments and went down in flames. History will prove me right.”