PRO FOOTBALL SPOTLIGHT / A GLANCE AT THIS WEEK IN THE NFL : HOW YOU GONNA KEEP ‘EM DOWN ON THE FARM . . .

Joe Montana missed another Chiefs’ game but Joe, Mont., was there.

Twenty-two residents of the hamlet in Montana which changed its name in honor of the quarterback spent the weekend in Kansas City, Mo., saw the game against the Bengals, were guests at a gala tailgate party and got to meet their hero.

The turnout was impressive since there are only 28 people in Joe.

Six residents stayed home to keep an eye on things. A few came from areas around Joe.

“They’re people who live outside of town and serve on the volunteer fire department,” said Wayne Rieger, the town clerk and fire chief. “The whole town couldn’t come.”

The trip was the result of a promotional stunt by radio station KYYS that became what the local Associated Press bureau called “one of the most talked-about events in Kansas City this season.” Rieger said meeting Montana was the highlight of the trip. At the quarterback’s insistence, the meeting was closed to the media.

“We spent about a half-hour with Joe on Friday,” Rieger said. “He came out and told us he was very pleased with what we were doing, except sometimes he just does not know what to say when the press asks him about it because all his teammates tease him.

“But he was very nice. He said he was flattered.”

Montana, the quarterback, has played three games in six weeks. After he pulled a hamstring against the Raiders, Coach Marty Schottenheimer donned a swami’s turban for his mid-week press conference to assess Montana’s chances of playing.

“Very cloudy in there,” said Schottenheimer, fondling a crystal ball. “ . . . I hope I made my point. I don’t know.”

Actually, Schottenheimer needed only to bring a schedule showing the opponent would be Cincinnati, making it safe to start Dave Krieg and stiff Joe, Mont.

The visitors weren’t complaining.

“It’s like we’ve been in Oz and we’ve got to go back home tomorrow to Kansas,” said Rieger. “We’ve made a ton of friends this week. We’ll definitely be keeping in touch. . . .

“We’re issuing an invitation to everybody in Kansas City to come and visit. We issued an invitation for Joe to come and see us whenever he gets a chance. He said he has friends in Montana he hopes to get to see and he may get over to see us.”

STICK A FORK IN ‘EM

The following are (still) in trouble:

Joe Bugel--Cardinals owner Bill Bidwill said before the season his coach will be outta there if they don’t go 9-7. After Sunday’s loss, at home, to the Patriots, they’ll have to finish 8-3.

Jerry Glanville--The Falcons eluded defeat for the first time this season, with a bye. Glanville still managed to embarrass himself, trying to get Eric Dickerson to retire and save him the awkward task of waiving him. Two assistants--but not Glanville--called Eric to tell him he was no longer in Atlanta’s plans. Dickerson didn’t come to practice the next day but the front office found out about it and told him to return, which he did.

Falcons President Taylor Smith insists Glanville will finish the season but if you want to send a Christmas card to him in Atlanta, mail early.

Jack Pardee--Ever since Oilers owner Bud Adams hired defensive coordinator Buddy Ryan without asking his nice-guy head coach, it has been more a matter of “when” than “if” in Houston. Ryan already has his own TV show and writers, aware he’s a quote machine, solicit his views on matters not related to the defense as if he was already the coach.

The Oilers are 1-3 going into tonight’s game at Buffalo.

“A lot will be said after this game on Monday how well we’ve played,” says quarterback Warren Moon. “If we play well and don’t win, that could be a positive sign. But if we play bad and don’t win, then you’ve got to start thinking.”

NOTEWORTHY

Giants linebacker Lawrence Taylor, upset at being benched last week by new Coach Dan Reeves after straining a hamstring, played little against the Redskins and did not record a tackle or a sack.

The Chiefs’ Marcus Allen’s nine-yard touchdown run in the third quarter was his 101st, tying him with Steve Largent for seventh on the all-time list.

Minnesota’s Vencie Glenn, after returning an interception 61 yards for a touchdown and seeing teammate Carlos Jenkins penalized for holding. “I knew I wasn’t going to be on ESPN’s highlights.”

AND REMEMBER PEOPLE . . . BE CAREFUL OUT THERE

It was a tough day at the office for a bunch of NFL players.

Besides Dan Marino, significant injuries were sustained by the following:

Drew Bledsoe--New England’s $14.9-million rookie quarterback sprained his left knee in the first half of Sunday’s victory at Phoenix.

Steve Emtman--The Colts’ defensive tackle, No. 1 overall pick in the 1992 draft who missed the final nine games of his rookie season after surgery to his left knee, sustained multiple injuries to his right knee against the Cowboys. The Colts said Emtman had torn the anterior cruciate and medial ligaments and also tore a tendon.

Chris Goode--The Colts’ defensive back was found to have suffered a sprained neck after Dallas’ Derrick Gainer dove on it, two plays after the injury to Emtman. Goode was strapped to a stretcher and taken off the field but X-rays were negative and he was able to move his hands.

WHAT HAS $27 MILLION AND SPLINTERS?

Browns Coach Bill Belichick and quarterback Bernie Kosar have been engaged in a test of wills all season but Belichick just won it. After Sunday’s 24-14 loss to the Dolphins, he announced Vinny Testaverde would start next week against the Bengals.

Kosar didn’t like Belichick’s conservative offense or the fact that he isn’t allowed to call audibles. Belichick serves as the team’s defensive coordinator and has no offensive coordinator.

Belichick didn’t like the way Kosar was playing and had yanked him in the last two games.

“Have we worked it out or not?” said Kosar last week. “I’m not sure about that.”

Apparently they hadn’t.

Sunday Kosar completed 15 of 19 passes but was sacked five times. Belichick jerked him again and made it permanent.

“As disappointing as this is to me personally, I have a lot of friends on this team and wouldn’t want to say anything that would take away from our chances against Cincinnati,” Kosar said. “I have a lot of respect for Vinny as a friend and as a player. I don’t want to do anything that in any way would take away his chance to be successful.”

Said Belichick: “He (Testaverde) has played well in all seven games that he’s played for us this year, and I’m going to give him an opportunity to be a quarterback.”

Said Testaverde, a personal friend of Kosar: “I’ve been in that situation. He’s strong. He knows how to handle this thing. I think he’s going to do OK with it.”

The timing could be a little better.

The Browns last week signed Kosar to a seven-year, $27-million contract.

FIRST HUMPHRIES DUMPTY, NOW DEEP FRIESZ

After watching the Chargers struggle offensively in their first four games, Coach Bobby Ross benched starting quarterback Stan Humphries, replacing him for Sunday’s game at Pittsburgh with John Friesz.

The Chargers fell, 17-3.

The Steelers, no dummies, blitzed all game and knocked out Friesz in the second half with a concussion after he was slammed to the turf.

Humphries, taking over, was promptly blindsided by Steelers linebacker Greg Lloyd and fumbled the ball away to another linebacker, Levon Kirkland, who picked it up and went 16 yards for a touchdown.

The Chargers have scored four touchdowns all season, none in a game they’ve won. They have failed to get a touchdown in three of their five games.

A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO 5-0

The Eagles, either the inspirational story or the fluke of the decade, were 4-0 with Chicago coming into Veterans Stadium, where they’d won 11 in a row. But their luck ran out, five weeks after everyone thought it had.

The Eagles began this season without starters Reggie White, Keith Byars and Mike Golic and eight more free agents. Player dissension was so rife, Coach Rich Kotite imposed a gag order in training camp. The personnel director was fired for violating the order.

The Eagles then started 4-0, coming from 10 points behind in the last three to set an NFL record.

However, in last week’s victory over the Jets, quarterback Randall Cunningham and leading receiver Fred Barnett were both lost for the season. Defensive end Tim Harris also went out with an elbow injury.

Sunday Bubby Brister, trying to replace Cunningham, fumbled twice, had two passes intercepted and was sacked seven times as the Bears won, 17-6.