This Shula Hopes to Avoid Record Book

At least one member of the Shula family figures to achieve a coaching record today.

It’s widely known that Don Shula will be trying for an NFL-record 325th victory against the Jets, which would move him ahead of George Halas. Not so widely known is that son Dave will be trying to avoid joining Sam Wyche as the only head coaches in Cincinnati Bengal history to start a season with eight defeats.

Bengal quarterback Jay Schroeder says he has the key to Cincinnati’s hopes of beating the Pittsburgh Steelers: “The day we play error-free football is the day we’ll have a chance to win.”

Trivia time: Which was the last NFL team to go an entire season without a victory?

Shortchanged: Joke heard around Kansas City:

What’s the difference between a dollar and Joe Montana?

With a dollar, you can get four quarters.

Big and fast: Forward Tom Hammonds of the Denver Nuggets recently drove a ’69 Camaro to a top speed of 168 m.p.h. in 7.74 seconds in winning the outlaw division of the National Muscle Car Assn. street-car drag racing competition at Memphis.

“For sure, he’s the fastest 6-foot 9-inch drag racer anywhere,” quipped Chris Martin of National Dragster.

Real trash: Madison Square Garden comes in for more than its share of abuse in “Talking Trash: Basketball’s Greatest Insults.”

Brendon Malone, assistant coach of the Detroit Pistons, had this to say: “There are guys doing 25 to life who would refuse to come in here.”

Loquacious redhead: Bill Walton probably played in fewer games than anyone else named to the Basketball Hall of Fame, so when he made a lengthy acceptance speech at his induction, NBA publicist Brian McIntyre remarked, “Big Red was the first honoree whose speech was longer than his career.”

Soon enough: Al Geiberger is known worldwide by golf fans as “Mr. 59” after becoming the first golfer to break 60 in a PGA tournament. Now that he is on the senior tour, people often ask him if that is also his age.

“No, not yet,” he says, “But I’m getting close.” The former USC golfer turned 56 on Sept. 1.

Good news: The Clippers are the only team in the NBA to have lowered prices this season, according to the Team Marketing Report. The Clippers’ average ticket price decreased 1.8% to $22.45.

The average for the NBA increased to $27.12 from $25.18. This compares to the average cost of a major league baseball ticket, which increased by 1.7% this year to $9.57 and the average cost of an NFL ticket, which went up by 3.5% to $28.68.

Three short: Forty-seven states have Division I men’s basketball teams. The missing three are Alaska, North Dakota and South Dakota.

Trivia answer: Tampa Bay, which was 0-14 in 1976.

Quotebook: Shaquille O’Neal, asked by a British journalist to describe himself: “I’m a combination of the Terminator and Bambi. Sometimes I’m nice and sometimes I’m a killer.”