THE BATTLE FOR NO.1 TAKING SIDES IN THE FLORIDA STATE-NOTRE DAME SHOWDOWN : POINT : A Bet on Mystique Is a Huge Mistake

Florida State will beat Notre Dame because the Seminoles don’t know the difference between the Golden Dome and the Golden Arches. They think the Grotto is a beatnik bar. They think Paul Hornung sells Mr. Coffee machines.

Or as Florida State defensive end Toddrick McIntosh so eloquently put it, “When you hear Notre Dame, you think of the Three Horsemen, Rockne and win one for the Gipper.”

Our thoughts exactly.

The Seminoles are clueless, which is exactly why 6,000 or so years of Notre Dame football tradition won’t mean a thing to No. 1-ranked Florida State. Irish honks such as Beano Cook (and an unnamed Los Angeles Times columnist) think otherwise. They speak gravely of the Notre Dame aura and mystique, as if the Seminoles will melt at the first sight of green and blue plaid.

“I don’t know exactly what is the mystique,” Florida State linebacker Derrick Brooks said. “People ask me that question, and I don’t know what to tell them.”

Here’s your mystique: Notre Dame lost one game last season. To Stanford. At home. The year before, the Irish lost three games, one at home. And the year before that, the Irish suffered three defeats, two at home.

Notre Dame isn’t unbeatable, just arrogant. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with arrogance, except that the Irish might have met their match in Florida State. The Irish have their storied fight song, Florida State has its storied road record, a sparkling 32-6 since 1987.

And did we mention the Seminoles’ first visit to Notre Dame, a 1981 affair that saw them beat the Irish, 19-13?

To the Seminoles, Saturday’s game is nothing more than a chore, a thing to do, like picking up your laundry at the dry-cleaners. If they were playing Miami, that would be another story. But Notre Dame? “Just another game on the schedule,” Brooks said.

Notre Dame scares Florida State Coach Bobby Bowden more than it does his team. Bowden grew up in the 1930s and ‘40s, when Irish football found a place on nearly every movie-house newsreel. He understands the legacy and the significance of the Notre Dame program.

But his players couldn’t care less. In fact, Bowden was debating whether he should provide his team with a brief history lesson before game’s beginning.

Don’t do it, Bobby. Remember, ignorance is bliss.

And enough already about the weather factor. If it snows, the flakes will fall on the helmets of both teams, won’t they? Bitter cold is an equal-opportunity menace, isn’t it?

Sure, most of the Seminoles have never felt Jack Frost nipping at their cleats. But it’s not as if Notre Dame’s players all were born and raised in the frozen tundra.

Notre Dame quarterback Kevin McDougal is from Pompano Beach, Fla., and he had his two worst games of the season when conditions were less than ideal. In fact, nearly half of Notre Dame’s starting offense is from Florida, California or North Carolina. On defense, five starters are from Texas, Florida or North Carolina.

Trust us, they’ll be scurrying for those sideline blowtorch heaters just as fast as Florida State’s players.

Notre Dame hasn’t beaten a team that is currently ranked in the top 25. Florida State has played three and beaten them by a combined score of 101-31.

And if you love statistics, you’ll love these: In six of Florida State’s nine games, a Seminole defender has scored a touchdown; Heisman-winner-to-be Charlie Ward has thrown 16 touchdown passes, but only one interception; running back Sean Jackson is averaging seven yards per carry, Warrick Dunn is averaging 8.2 and fullback William Floyd 5.5.

As Notre Dame soon will discover, the Seminoles not only have better players, but they have a better team. The Three Horsemen will do what they can, but it won’t be enough.

Florida State 28, Mystique 26.