Mr. Mayor, get a new agent: Mayor-elect...

Mr. Mayor, get a new agent: Mayor-elect Rudolph Giuliani of New York recently made a guest appearance on the “Seinfeld” TV show. And what have you been doing, Mayor Riordan? Our sources tell us you have had no screen credits since taking office. All you have to show is that radio promo endorsing KLSX, Howard Stern’s station.

Don’t you understand? TV work is an obligation for L.A. mayors. Your predecessor, Tom Bradley, had a gig on the TV detective show, “Hunter,” among others. His predecessor, Sam Yorty, did a guest bit on “Here’s Lucy.”

Dick, baby, start mailing out those glossies.

If you need any more advice, let’s do lunch.

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McDemonstration: L.A. Conservancy members, car club buffs and admitted meat-lovers will gather Sunday in Downey at the world’s oldest operating McDonald’s to urge the corporation to abandon plans to close it this month.

The 40-year-old stand, topped by the chain’s original mascot, Speedee the Chef, has attracted the support of more than 10,000 petition-signers, as well as letter-writers from 32 countries. Hundreds also filled out a Downey newspaper’s pledge form, promising to gobble 20,000 extra items there.

Even the nation’s most famous fast-food fan weighed in, so to speak. “Your work to preserve this landmark is admirable,” wrote an assistant on behalf of President Clinton.

The stand, located at Lakewood Boulevard and Florence Avenue, dates back so far that it operated independently until being acquired only recently by the chain. The corporation says Speedee doesn’t bring in enough revenue.

One reason may be the Downey fast-food outlet that opened several years ago when the independent owners were refusing to sell out to Ray Kroc. It’s another McDonald’s. Four blocks away.

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Of family conflicts and the Menendezes: During the seven months that he has covered the murder trial of the Beverly Hills brothers, Times reporter Alan Abrahamson says, “Not a day goes by that someone doesn’t ask me whether my stories are necessarily biased because I’m married to Leslie.”

Leslie is, of course, the most high-profiled of the defense attorneys--Leslie Abramson. She, however, is no relation (as the spelling of her last name would seem to indicate).

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Upscale homeless?Tom Armor, who shot this sign in Pasadena, says he knew the real estate market was flat but. . . .

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Or, as Gomer Pyle used to say, “Gawwwwwleee”: We had the same reaction as KCAL anchorman Jerry Dunphy when we heard about the German publications that had quoted Zsa Zsa Gabor as saying that Elke Sommer was a financially strapped has-been who hung out in sleazy bars and supported herself by selling her hand-knitted sweaters for $150 apiece.

Dunphy, previewing a segment on Sommer’s successful $2-million lawsuit, said of Zsa Zsa:

“You won’t believe what she said about a fellow senior sex symbol!”

miscelLAny:

Harriet Glickman points out that the Iliad bookstore in North Hollywood is next door to Odyssey Video.