FOOD BOX : Put <i> This </i> in Your Bass-o-Matic

Too many people rely on the funnies to get their jollies from The Times. More laughs per line can be obtained from the restaurant reviews than from any other feature.

This was proved once again by Laurie Ochoa’s review of the Bar Bistro at Citrus (First Impressions, Dec. 5). After reading about the great $9.50 mashed potatoes, not to mention the “add-on rec-room” feel, I couldn’t wait to dash down there. But the kicker was the fact that if you want your bass with stripes, it’s going to cost you $11.50 extra.

My mouth watering, as well as my eyes, I read on. A small bland chicken goes for an amazing $10, but if you sit on the patio, the “preparations tend to be a bit more complex.” The chickens served on the patio went to college.

My sides were already splitting when I read that it’s “not bad” that you have to settle for half a bottle of wine and a shared dessert to get out of the place for $30. Not even “Peanuts” can provide that kind of amusement.

PAULA RUGGIRELLO

Canoga Park

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It is pretentious, offensive and inexcusably insensitive of John Sedlar to use our city’s plights as a gimmick to sell himself and his food (Restaurant News, Nov. 21).

It just seems that any conscientious person would not find drive by riddled with bullet holes or D.O.A. clever or humorous decor for a dinner plate. A reminder of tragedies of this sort while trying to enjoy a high-priced veal chop is absurd!

What’s next in the realm of offensive dinner plates? A well-dressed knackwurst with AIDS emblazoned with cayenne pepper?

PATRICIA LONG

Santa Monica