Experience Necessary to Lakers : At Least We Know He Will Be Frank

Oh, no. They hired Leslie Nielsen.

Del Harris, who once wandered too far onto the court and got run down by a Denver Nugget. (True story.) Del Harris, who once went fishing and cast his pole right into the lake. (True story.) Del Harris, who upon being welcomed Friday to Los Angeles said what a genuine pleasure it was to be “here in New York.” (True story.)

Del Harris, who once inspired a “Del Harris Look-alike Contest” that brought out every white-haired guy in Milwaukee.

Del Harris, the Midwestern barber’s son who, at least so far doesn’t go in for that Forum wet-head look.

Del Harris, who once bumped into the real Leslie Nielsen at a basketball game in Chicago and spontaneously asked him to go inside Milwaukee’s locker room and pretend to be the real Del Harris, which the actor promptly did, screaming at the Bucks to play harder and stop dribbling and act like men for a change.

“Maybe I can be his body double in the next ‘Airplane!’ or ‘Naked Gun,’ ” Harris says.

Del does Hollywood.

Surely, I should take the hiring of Del Harris more seriously, and my apologies for calling you Shirley. After all, the Lakers finally chose somebody with NBA head-coaching experience. Magic Johnson had none. Randy Pfund had none. Mike Dunleavy had none. Pat Riley had none. Paul Westhead had none. Jack McKinney had none. Jerry West had none. When the Los Angeles Lakers put “no experience necessary” in a want ad, they ain’t kidding.

Not this time, though. Harris has been around. Harris has coached 673 honest-to-goodness, regular-season NBA games and 52 more in the playoffs. His 1981 Houston team nearly succeeded the Lakers as NBA champion. He’s a smart coach who could even communicate with Moses Malone. And he hardly ever gets run over by Nuggets anymore.

“Oh, I was just showin’ the guys how to take a charge,” Harris says.

Del has even been in demand. Four clubs, the new Laker coach volunteered, had contacted him during this last week. The Lakers actually had to beat other teams to him.

Del Harris, a guy with an NBA lifetime winning percentage of .493.

Well, at least the man has actually coached in the league. At least he doesn’t have to learn on the job.

Jerry Buss calls it “the best job in sports.” His new coach calls it “what Jerry Buss properly called it, the top sports franchise in the country, in the world.”

But this is the first time the Lakers have actually seen an applicant’s credentials.

I had breakfast with Harris during the Final Four at Charlotte, back when ol’ Doc Buss and the Lakers were mercifully about to end this very special season of Fun & Magic. At the time, I remember telling Harris that this Laker team was so bad, it didn’t need Dr. Buss, it needed Dr. Kevorkian.

Harris in turn said, “The Lakers ever offer me a job, I’d come back from the dead.”

Live, from the Inglewood Improv, let’s have a big Laker hello for Mr. Del Harris, ladies and gentlemen. Some days, the guy is Leslie Nielsen.

Oh, and is our new silver-domed coach ready for Showtime? Can he still cut the mustard at his age?

Let me put it this way:

He has a son who is 30 and another who is 4.

“Coaching,” Del Harris says, “is the most exciting thing you can do legally.”

Nice having him here in New York.