Thank Goodness No One Had to Ask Them What They Shot

On May 21, President Clinton played golf early in the morning at Riviera Country Club.

He was, of course, accompanied by the usual entourage of Secret Service agents. The agents were wearing capes even though it was a warm day.

Track and field promoter Al Franken, a Riviera member, asked an agent why he was wearing a cape.

“We have weapons,” the agent replied.

It’s presumed he wasn’t talking about a three-iron.

Add Clinton: The President lost his wedge on the front nine, but it was found and returned to him later.

No, the Secret Service didn’t find it.

Trivia time: Which is the oldest of the Triple Crown races?

Observation: Art Spander in the San Francisco Examiner: “And we used to think Florida State’s biggest problem was kicks that went wide right.”

Cheap shot?From David Letterman: “As you know, I am an avid follower of women’s tennis. And it’s funny, I don’t remember Jennifer Capriati being much of a grass player.”

Exodus: John Madden, Pat Summerall and Terry Bradshaw left CBS for Fox, and Greg Gumbel is now with NBC.

Ray Frager of the Baltimore Sun writes: “Will the last sportscaster to leave CBS please turn off the blow dryer?”

No Showtime: Dan Shaughnessy of the Boston Globe isn’t impressed with the New York Knicks: “It’s almost painful to watch Pat Riley coach these players. Riley in his former life was in charge of some of the most gifted basketball players of all time.

“He had Magic Johnson, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, James Worthy, Byron Scott and Norm Nixon. And now he coaches. . . . a bunch of Masons.”

Self taught: Dan Jenkins in Golf World: “It’s remarkable that Jack Nicklaus won 20 major tournaments without taking a single lesson from David Leadbetter or Harvey Pennick.”

No big deal: A caller wondered why Cal Ripken’s 300th home run wasn’t a Page 1 story. Maybe 30 years ago. Sixty-five major league players have hit 300 home runs.

Dorsey trio: Three major league managers--Sparky Anderson, Rene Lachemann and Marcel Lachemann--attended Dorsey High.

Stand-up guy: Woody Woodburn of the Ventura Star-Press suggests a new nickname for Scottie Pippen: “Sitting Bull.”

Trivia answer: The Belmont Stakes, dating to 1867, eight years before the Kentucky Derby.

Quotebook: Pitcher Curt Schilling of the Philadelphia Phillies, who had a 16-7 record last year, has a simple explanation for his 0-7 start this season: “I’m doing all of the little things you need to do to lose games.”