Orange County Voices : COMMENTARY ON WOMANHOOD : Dismantling Barriers That Limit Girls’ Opportunities, Success : Fathers can help break the traditional stereotypes, foster leadership and build daughters’ confidence.

On April 28, Take Our Daughters to Work Day, we made a promise to girls. By bringing them to our offices, construction sites and fire stations, we told them we believe in them, we value them and we think they are essential to the future of our nation.

We want to widen the call and opportunity beyond the mother-daughter revolution to include fathers.

Father’s Day is the ideal day for dads to rededicate themselves to actively taking part in fulfilling that promise, to help shape the lives of their daughters.

Since April 28, after all that attention was directed at daughters in the workplace, those girls have gone back to their schools and neighborhoods where they are likely to be overlooked and undervalued for the next 364 days, until Take Our Daughters to Work Day comes around again.

They will raise their hands in class only to see the boys next to them get called on. They will be complimented on their looks rather than their accomplishments. They will be given tea sets and dolls, which prepare them for a future of work in the home--not in the paid work force.

While work inside the home is invaluable, the reality is that most women work outside the home--for pay--for a significant part of their lives.

Preparing girls to become leaders in the worlds of work and public life and to make the 21st Century a time when girls can lead requires an ongoing and concerted effort on the part of all adults.

Fathers, your daughters every day are subjected to messages about who they are and what they can be. These messages come from many sources including family, religious organizations, schools, community and the media. We must strive to break traditional patterns, foster girls’ leadership, build their confidence and not be afraid to help them take on the tough issues facing them today.

Here’s proof why growing up is serious business: The average woman earns just 72 cents for every dollar earned by the average man; nearly two-thirds of all adults in the United States with poverty-level incomes are women; many teachers, parents and other adults have lower expectations of girls’ performance in math and science than of boys’; adolescent girls are four to five times more likely than boys to attempt suicide; 40% of teens will have been pregnant at least once before age 20; AIDS is the fourth most common cause of death among women ages 15 to 24.

At Girls Inc., this effort is one we take to heart. Every day we give girls opportunities to develop new skills and gain confidence in their abilities. Our programs encourage girls in science and math, help them avoid early pregnancy and enable them to identify their own values and act accordingly.

Girls are entitled to basic rights--rights that they are denied through the limitations of gender stereotypes. Fathers, you can work with your daughters to help them change their own lives--and you can work to help change society, to create a better world for girls, with improved options for all. Both efforts are necessary to make these basic rights a reality.

Girls have a right to be themselves--people first and females second--and to resist pressure to behave in sexist stereotypical ways.

In the spirit of rekindling your commitment, we have identified specific steps fathers and all adults can take every day of the year to help your daughters become strong, smart and bold:

* Debunk the myth of Prince Charming in favor of the reality that most women will work outside the home to support themselves and their families.

* Avoid rescuing your daughters. Encourage girls to get dirty, disheveled and sweaty in pursuit of a goal and to make big, interesting mistakes.

* Help your daughters understand and appreciate their bodies as they are. Work with girls to develop a personal style that feels comfortable and attractive to them.

* Discourage tentative, questioning, approval-seeking approaches that girls are socialized to use. Teach your daughters to think on their feet, make their points and defend their positions without apology.

* Pressure toy and publishing companies to produce non-sexist toys, books and materials in which girls are involved in activities that go beyond nurturing and romantic roles.

* Confront widespread notions of female fragility. Challenge views in the media and elsewhere of assertive women as “unfeminine” or destructive.

* Enable your daughters to become media critics. Examine portrayals of girls and women in television programs, popular songs, movies, books and magazines. Are the portrayals realistic? Are female characters judged more by their looks or their actions?

* Provide opportunities for your daughters to explore roles, experiences and activities that are generally reserved for boys. Girls may not ask for the opportunity to play with worms, learn carpentry or construct an electrical circuit for a model train but they participate eagerly when given the chance to do so.

* Address sexism anywhere young people are sorted by gender into programs based on interest or skills they are “supposed” to have, and work to achieve comparable pay for work of comparable value.

* Pressure the media and fashion industry to expand their definition of beauty and to celebrate women in ways that go beyond physical appearance.

* Treat her with respect.

Dismantling the stereotypes that limit your daughter’s chances or success needs to be a daily activity. These steps provide a starting point. If we start today, next year when we bring our daughters to work, their questions will be tougher, their participation more enthusiastic and their goals loftier. So that someday, they will proudly take their daughters to work.

And so, the message reads: Happy Father’s Day, Dad, to the man who believed in me and taught me all about life and values, who led me across the steppingstones of growing up until I safely and boldly reached the other side of adulthood.