PRO FOOTBALL / ATLANTA FALCONS 31, RAMS 13 : Ram Review

First Quarter: Welcome to Georgia Dome, site of last year’s Super Bowl, 1996 Olympics and Final Four in 2002--coincidentally, the same year Rams expect Wayne Gandy to make first NFL start . . . Rams announce publicly before game Shane Conlan will be inactive; guess it just goes without saying they won’t throw ball to tight end Troy Drayton . . . Rams begin game with dropped pass by Tim Lester aka Venus de Milo . . . Crowd is informed Andre Rison has set club record with 360 catches; 296 seemingly coming in first 15 minutes of this game, which is also believed to be NFL mark. . . . Falcons 14, Rams 0

Second Quarter: Good news from Hollywood: Jim Carrey has agreed to lend Gandy “The Mask” . . . Jerome “How ‘bout 200 yards or bust?” Bettis has four rushes for 10 yards, but no truth to rumor Rams have approached authorities about weekend furlough and $2 million bond to free Mike Tyson to play left tackle . . . Isaac Bruce catches TD pass, runs around like he’s won lottery, will realize in week or so his luck ran out when Rams drafted him . . . Darryl Henley update: He’s still here . . . Fourth and goal from the one and Chuck Knox gives offense the boot. . . . Falcons 17, Rams 7

Third Quarter: Jeff George passes the 10,000-yard mark, no, not for the game . . . Limo driver seen holding card up at end of field: “Mr. Israel.” Seems Jerry Rice is a little eager to make sure Steve Israel reports for duty next week . . . Tattoo in mouth reveals that was no ringer after Flipper Anderson makes diving catch . . . Holding on Leo Goeas, and after game Knox accuses refs of picking on his players. Local Atlanta attorney by name of Matlock agrees to defend men in stripes . . . Drayton asks Knox if he can be introduced to Miller. . . . Falcons 24, Rams 7

Fourth Quarter: Rison scores again, and no wonder: Rams had Richard Buchanan impersonate Rison in practice; that’s like asking Rosanne to be Sharon Stone’s body double . . . Miller is right on target: Completes third pass of the day to his former teammates . . . Gandy asks if he can go on CNN Studio Tour, but instead is put in game. Refs notice, flag him for holding . . . Craig (Ironhead) Heyward throws fear of God into Rams until Pope intervenes, forces fumble . . . Falcons 31, Rams 13

Game Summary: Bettis runs for 102 yards, but frankly, my dear, who gives a damn . . . NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue denies George & Rison’s request to play Rams every week . . . In an up-and-coming episode on “Coach,” Hayden falls ill, and Luther is asked to make the critical call: Down, 14-0, fourth and goal from the one, do you go for it? He thinks out loud: “What would Coach Chuck Knox do in a situation like this?” Dauber interjects: “Punt.”