PRO FOOTBALL / BILL PLASCHKE : QUICK HITTERS

* THROW THIS BACK: As part of the NFL’s 75th anniversary celebration, this weekend’s games will feature a venerable institution that has weathered all sorts of societal changes to remain an integral part of this league:

The marketing scam.

In what is being sold as “Throwbacks Weekend,” every team in the league will wear uniforms from the past. Some will wear these uniforms again until every team has a chance to wear them in front of their home crowds.

Think of the atmosphere! Think of the nostalgia!

Think of the licensing revenue that will be pouring in once the souvenir sales of these uniforms have been completed!

The most interesting outfits belong to the Pittsburgh Steelers, who will face the Indianapolis Colts while wearing jerseys adorned with a logo that looks like a castle.

It is supposed to be a shield that was once on the city flag. The castle represents Ft. Duquesne and Ft. Pitt.

The Steelers will look like 53 face cards.

“Man, they’re ugly,” said cornerback Rod Woodson. “I’m glad I don’t have to play in those things every day. I’d have to change teams or something.”

* DISTRACTIONS? WHAT DISTRACTIONS? The San Francisco 49ers will shut up and put up with Deion Sanders’ boom box and high step because:

--In Sanders’ 11 games last season, he made seven interceptions, a figure reached by a 49er cornerback only once in the last decade.

--During his five NFL seasons, Sanders has scored eight touchdowns on interceptions and kick returns, compared to seven by the 49ers’ entire team during that time.

One more thought on the do-ragged one.

How meaningless have NFL contracts become when a man can turn down $17 million with one team, the New Orleans Saints, to sign for $1.1 million elsewhere?

* SUB-HUMAN OF THE WEEK: It’s hard to ignore this quote from Raider linebacker Winston Moss, who was captured on videotape trying to remove the face of Seattle Seahawk quarterback Rick Mirer while Mirer was lying on the Coliseum turf last Sunday.

“It’s not a cheap shot unless you get caught,” Moss said.

Such a great role model for the sport. Such a wonderful lesson for our children.

Moss reportedly will be released by the Raiders next season when the league institutes an idiot cap.

* IT FIGURES: Jimmy Johnson, while doing his homework for his new job as a Fox pregame announcer, is said to be having difficulty gleaning inside info from former colleagues.

Many are apparently afraid that when he becomes a coach again next season, he will use that information against them.

* WHILE WE’RE ON THE SUBJECT: One early line on where Johnson will coach next year.

1. San Francisco 49ers: You think not? Let George Siefert fail to take that team to the Super Bowl and see how long he lasts.

2. Philadelphia Eagles: New owner Jeffrey Lurie is fascinated with Johnson, and can offer Johnson the right money and right division. If only he had the right weather.

3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Johnson would have gone to Jacksonville if the Panthers had not panicked and hired Tom Coughlin before Johnson left Dallas. So why wouldn’t he go right across the state?

The organization is a mess, but the best coach in the world has seen that before.

* WERE WE THE ONLY ONES WHO KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN? On the eve of last week’s game in Dallas between the Cowboys and Houston Oilers, Barry Switzer could not be found at the Cowboy team meetings. Or at their hotel. Or even in the state.

Switzer had high-tailed it to Arkansas to see his son Doug play quarterback for Missouri Southern.

Not only did Switzer clear his absence with the team before he left, he flew on owner Jerry Jones’ private plane.

Wonder who sat in Switzer’s seat at those meetings?

“The idea of a guy in there, running a projector until midnight, looking for that edge to win . . . that’s Hollywood,” Switzer told reporters. “Those things don’t happen.”