When They Don’t Want to Ski

“Barry Fieldman, please report to the children’s ski school,” the announcement blared over the din of the crowded slope-side cafeteria.

Fieldman turned pale, dropped his burger in mid-bite and raced over to Northstar-at-Tahoe’s ski school where his 6-year-old son was enrolled. “I was sure Michael had gotten hurt,” he explained later.

But nothing so dramatic had happened. When Fieldman, a Las Vegas developer, arrived at the Northern California ski school breathless and his stomach churning a few minutes later, he found Michael all in one piece and grinning from ear-to-ear. “I just don’t want to ski anymore,” the kindergartner told his dad. The instructors hadn’t been able to persuade Michael otherwise.

So Michael, my nephew, spent the afternoon happily playing in the snow near the condo where his family and mine were staying. “You can’t make a kid ski,” says Fieldman, himself an avid skier. “It would just aggravate you and ruin your vacation. Find something else that’s fun for kids to do at the ski area.”

Children’s ski instructors around the country say he is right on the mark.

“Making sure the kids are happy in the winter environment should be parents’ first goal,” explains Rick Devos, director of Steamboat Ski School in Steamboat Springs, Colo., where half the 50,000 lessons given each year are to children. “Forcing it won’t work. Too many parents have unrealistic expectations for their kids,” sighs Devos, himself the father of two young children. (Call Steamboat at 800-922-2722 and ask about its Kids Ski Free program, which enables one child 12 and under to ski free the same number of days as his or her parents when they ski five days or more, except during Christmas week.)

Younger children, the experts explain, may be the most reluctant skiers in the family, though older ones certainly have their moments too. They may be tired after traveling or unaccustomed to the altitude. Some may never have seen snow. And like my nephew Michael, they may come from parts of the country where they never need to wear winter clothes.

“Parents forget how much kids have to go through before they even get to ski school,” says Sue Way, who oversees Aspen’s programs for younger children. (Call the Aspen Ski Company at 800-525-6200 for details on the Tiehack Mountain’s First Time on Skis/Snowboard three-day package, which includes three days of lessons and lift tickets for $129. It guarantees all beginners will be able to ski the mountain by the end of the program, or they’ll get a fourth day of lessons free.)

“Don’t let ski school be their first experience with organized day care,” urges Way. That, coupled with so many new faces and trying to learn to navigate on skis, may simply be too much for many preschoolers to handle.

Still, parents paying $50 and more a day for their kids to learn to ski can’t help but get frustrated when the kids refuse to try.

That’s all the more reason to invest some time beforehand preparing the pint-sized skiers-to-be in your family for the experience. Explain that ski school will be a lot like nursery school, day care or kindergarten, with ski lessons thrown in. Tell the older ones how much fun they’ll have exploring the mountain with kids their age.

Even if you plan to rent the kids’ equipment at the mountain (always a good idea in case something gets broken or doesn’t fit properly), visit a ski shop near your home and let the kids clomp around in skis and boots, instructors suggest.

Have a “dress up” night at home to try on ski clothes. They’ll need waterproof pants, layered shirts and sweater, windproof jacket, heavy socks, hat and a neck gaiter rather than a scarf for warmth. Don’t forget goggles and sunscreen.

Spread out the trail map on the kitchen table--some areas such as Aspen now have special children’s trail maps--and talk about the most fun runs.

Then, when you arrive, take it slow. Check out the facilities with the kids late in the afternoon the day before you plan to start skiing. Let the kids talk to some of the instructors. Buy some new goggles, a pin for their hat, a wool headband with the mountain’s name or a new Chapstick.

If the kids still balk at the ski school door, suggest they at least try for the morning. Promise to check in at lunchtime.

Rest assured that ski resorts have ways to reach parents on the mountain if necessary. For example, at Vail, there are boards at the top and bottom of every lift where messages are posted.

“But once the kids get going, they usually have a great time,” says Vail’s John Alderson, who leads workshops across the country on teaching kids to ski. (Call 800-4-SKI-KID (475-4543) to ask for Vail’s Family Fun Pack, which includes the new “Guide to Kids Winter Vacations in the Vail Valley.”)

No matter, it’s never easy to leave a nervous child. Just ask Carolyn Hinckley Boyle, a communications consultant who lives in Austin, Tex.

Her 6-year-old daughter Amanda was so nervous that she threw up outside the ski school at Breckenridge, Colo.

Boyle, worried but convinced that Amanda was just scared, not sick, persuaded her daughter to at least give ski school a try. “I came back and she was out skiing, smiling away,” Boyle says. “She thanked me for making her go.”

Taking the Kids appears the first and third week of every month. “Taking the Kids to the Great Southwest,” “Taking the Kids to Sunny Southern California” and “Taking the Kids to Northern California” by Eileen Ogintz (HarperCollins West, $9.90 each) are now in bookstores.