This Penalty Box Suggestion Good for Washed-Up Players

Tom Powers writes in the St. Paul Pioneer Press about the NFL Competition Committee’s being asked to study the possibility of a penalty box for defenders who deliver late or flagrant hits to the quarterback.

“How about the men’s room on the main concourse?” he suggests. “What a deterrent that would be. All the dads taking their young sons to the potty could point to the man in the cage next to the soap dispenser and say:

“ ‘See what happens when you don’t play by the rules?’ ”

Trivia Time: How many times has a USC offensive lineman made first-team All-American since 1964?

Look-alikes? Remember the story of golfer Ernie Els encountering a poisonous snake on a course in South Africa?

“At first he thought it was a sports agent,” writes Gary Shelton of the St. Petersburg Times. “But it wasn’t wearing enough gold chains.”

All-out ride: Jockey Randy Romero, who has won nearly 4,000 races and recently launched a comeback at Hollywood Park, left his imprint at Santa Anita when riding there in 1983.

Fearing he was beaten despite a vigorous ride, Romero resorted to yelling at his mount, Flawless Performer. The screaming dislodged Romero’s partial dentures. Flawless Performer won, but the jockey’s teeth were lost, never to be found.

Don’t answer this: John Eisenberg in the Baltimore Sun:

“If you know for a fact that Illinois and East Carolina are playing in the Liberty Bowl, and that South Carolina and West Virginia are playing in the Carquest Bowl, and that Baylor and Washington State are playing in the Alamo Bowl, you need help.”

Hallelujah: Mike Lupica in Newsday: “When I’m channel-surfing and see Jimmy Johnson’s face, there’s always a moment when I expect him to start reading from the Book of Revelations and flashing the toll-free donation number.”

Mind games: Kansas City Chief Coach Marty Schottenheimer has a “12 o’clock rule,” which prohibits players from thinking about a loss after midnight the day of the game.

Said running back Marcus Allen: “Sometimes we act like losing doesn’t hurt. Sometimes you’ve got to forget the 12 o’clock rule.”

Superwoman: Phil Whitten, editor of Swimming World, on the disclosure that Kristin Otto of then-East Germany, who won six gold medals in the 1988 Olympic Games, had a high level of testosterone:

“Otto had more testosterone in her than the entire starting team of the Dallas Cowboys.”

Game plan: Frank Howard, 85, former Clemson football coach, on the disadvantages of the modern passing game: “It’s a pretty good idea to hang onto the football as long as you can. If they ain’t got it, they ain’t going to beat you with it.”

Trivia answer: Tony Boselli’s recent selection brings the number to 26.

Quotebook: Tom Weir in USA Today: “Isn’t it about time for the NHL to admit it has lost all hope and just call in Jack Kevorkian?”