DAYTIME AND MOTHERHOOD ARE A BALANCING ACT FOR MAEVE KINKEAD

As a working mother, Maeve Kinkead, who plays Vanessa Lewis on “Guiding Light,” believes she knows of which she speaks:

“I don’t think it is possible to feel comfortable as a working mom. There is always more you feel you should do. And, I’m sorry, but it is easier for men and always will be. Especially in the early years, children have a stronger bond to their mothers than they do to their fathers.”

In 1988, Kinkead took a year off--she has been with the show for 14 years--to spend more time with her husband, Harry Streep, and children, Abraham, 13, and Maud, 10. But her love of acting called her back to work.

“The worst,” she says, “is when both kids whine or beg me not to go to work. But part of growing up is in realizing you have to compromise. You also realize that when you’re in a bad patch, things will get better--especially if you have a good partner, and I do.

“Since the kids were young, we’ve always told them what was going to happen that day,” she says. “We haven’t been able to follow the standard advice of giving the kids a stable schedule, but this way they know what is going on, and I try to let them call the shots when we’re together--to do what they want to do.”

Her children were raised with a sense of independence. When Abraham graduated from elementary school, he choose public over private school.

“He’s a great little guy,” Kinkead says with pride. “He thinks about things very carefully, and he had real reasons--especially wanting to be in a big diversified class.

“However, the public school system is in dreadful shape,” says Kinkead, who graduated from Radcliffe University with the intention of becoming an English teacher. Her husband Harry currently teaches history and dance in New York City. “Abraham is doing well at school, but for high school we’re hoping to find a private school that has the qualities he wants too.

Kinkead’s one wish is “that every child get a decent--not even good, just decent--education. There is a big parents’ movement in our little village. We’re trying to do something about it, but unfortunately it won’t be soon enough to help my kids.”

Abraham and Bryan Buffinton, who plays Kinkead’s on-screen son, Bill, are close in age. “My son is in awe of Bryan, who is older and taller. It was so cute last year when Bryan selected one of my son’s Christmas gifts. He told me what was good music, but he also told me which ones didn’t have many bad words.”

Kinkead and her family watch little television at home, and her kids rarely see her as Vanessa. And she would never allow them to see her current story line with her young lover Matt Reardon, played by Kurt McKinney.

“But,” she says, “I love it. It’s my favorite story in years. Although the custody battle was very intense, it was not only emotionally draining to play, but it was narrower in gauge. This is a story in which everything about Vanessa has changed. Something in Vanessa had died. Now her spirit is waking again.”

Most fans have responded positively to the story line. Some worry that Vanessa will be hurt, while others, who don’t remember Vanessa’s wild past, do not like to see an icon tumble.

“But I have had letters that have made me weep from widows who replay my scenes as hope that one day they too might feel alive again.”

Today she is amazed when people recognize her in the supermarket.

“I’ll have my glasses on and no makeup,” she says. “I’m a ‘Guiding Light,’ couturier’s nightmare--everything I have is ripped. So when someone says, ‘Hi, Vanessa,’ I wonder how I’m recognized.

“Guiding Light” airs weekdays at 2 p.m. on CBS.