Santa’s Mixed Bag

Merry Christmas to:

JAY LENO: For losing with graciousness and respectable ratings against the David Letterman steamroller.

“TWIN PEAKS”: Better than ever in its recent reruns on Bravo. It’ll be back again next year, the cable network says.

JOHNNY CARSON: Boy, do I miss those monologues.

EMMY VOTERS: Yeah, sure, “Picket Fences” is better than “NYPD Blue.” Get real.

“THE FIVE MRS. BUCHANANS”: Is it hallucination, or did this show really make the CBS lineup?

CHARLES KURALT: You got out just in time, pal. Just take a look around.

KNBC REPORTER PATRICK HEALY: Sure miss your late dad, Jim, who made sportscasting an uproarious art.

AMERICAN MOVIE CLASSICS: My favorite cable channel. But get rid of some of those cute, crummy little features that clutter up far too much time between the films.

CONAN O’BRIEN: Nice try, but time to pack it in.

GREG KINNEAR: Give him O’Brien’s spot following Leno. Out of the blue, Kinnear’s “Later” show is proving him a TV natural with big-time potential, even though he sometimes seems and sounds like a Letterman clone.

NANCY KERRIGAN: TV’s quote of the year, made during a Disney World function: “This is so corny. This is so dumb. This is the most corny thing I’ve ever done.”

DAVID CARUSO: A graceful exit is just as important as a grand entrance.

FORD MOTOR CO.: All right--O.J.’s Bronco cruise on the freeway was great exposure, but Lindsay Wagner’s commercials are still the best thing that’s happened to Ford on TV in years.

“FRASIER”: For showing that a really classy and urbane comedy can go up against the super-hot Tim Allen and his series, “Home Improvement,” and not only survive but thrive.

ANGELA LANSBURY: Those Emmy airheads still don’t think she’s worth an award. All she’s done is hold CBS Entertainment together for a decade with “Murder, She Wrote.”

BRIAN LAMB: C-SPAN’s incomparable, implacable interviewer and host--and, by the way, the founder of the invaluable news-of-record channel.

“CAGNEY & LACEY”: What made the two-hour comeback movie so good was the stylish filmmaking that subtly reflected the difference between the ‘80s--when the series thrived--and the ‘90s.

BILL GATES AND BARRY DILLER: Get together, guys, buy a network and take us into the 21st Century tomorrow. You know--a network that wouldn’t even dream of doing shows like “Blue Skies” and “Wild Oats.”

VANCE MUSE: For his delightful new book, “We Bombed in Burbank,” about Jay Tarses’ ill-fated series “Smoldering Lust,” which the geniuses at NBC retitled “A Black Tie Affair,” which had nothing to do with the show.

“THE NANNY”: Monday used to be CBS’ Tiffany night. Now it features this sitcom, which has all the appeal of fingernails screeching across a blackboard--for a half-hour.

JERRY SPRINGER: For proving that there is a tackier talk show on TV than “Geraldo.”

“SOUTH CENTRAL”: Gone, but not forgotten.

BRETT BUTLER: Not the baseball player--the star of “Grace Under Fire,” who’s as comfortable as strong coffee and a stack of good reading on a Sunday morning.

LOCAL TV: The only reason it rates as high as a D-minus for the year--with its insane focus on crime and scaring people to death--is its mesmerizing power on an occasional big story like the Northridge quake, which it covered admirably. As for the frenzied O.J. coverage, let’s not even talk about it.

“COACH” AND “WINGS”: TV’s most underrated sitcoms--valuable utility players on the prime-time chessboard.

NETWORK PROGRAMMERS: Wake me up when you can match such past specials as “Friendly Fire,” “The Execution of Private Slovik,” “Gideon’s Trumpet,” “Something About Amelia,” “Love Among the Ruins” and “The Miracle Worker.”

THE NFL: Sure, I’ve tuned in the Sunday games, but I feel like I’m playing hookey when I watch them on Fox.

THE CENTER FOR MEDIA AND PUBLIC AFFAIRS: For its devastating report on the lack of Latinos on prime-time TV--and their negative image. “Sadly,” the Center noted of the last TV season, “the highest-profile Latino characters (were) Erik and Lyle Menendez.”

“L.A. LAW.” Thanks for the memories.

DIANE SAWYER: Lucky for her she got that $7-million ABC deal before “ER” creamed her “PrimeTime Live” series and chased it to another night, starting in January.

CONNIE CHUNG: Yet another high-priced anchor whose series was clobbered by “ER,” as newsmagazines finally seem to have peaked and appear headed for decline.

STATION EXECUTIVES: KABC-TV Channel 7 has lost million-dollar news readers Jerry Dunphy, Ann Martin and Paul Moyer and is still managing to survive.

KEN BURNS: His 18-hour PBS documentary series “Baseball,” for all its portentous overkill in seeking out national social meaning, was still more interesting than the strike-shortened season.

TV NEWS REPORTERS: Shame on those who, during the Haitian crisis, casually parroted the military-speak term “collateral damage.” Translation: Civilians could be killed.

HELEN HUNT: If you have to ask why, you’re a wimp. A real heir to the Carole Lombard style, Hunt is much better than her series, “Mad About You.”

DAN RATHER: Sometimes corny and erratic, he’s still the top and most dramatic network anchor to watch in many big stories. His side-by-side interview with Haitian military despot Raoul Cedras right after President Clinton’s speech, as an invasion seemed imminent, was one of the year’s most vivid TV moments.

JACK PAAR: Simply a television legend, as great as anybody in the medium. Check out his work when the New York-based Museum of Television & Radio opens its West Coast branch in Beverly Hills in 1995.

ROSEANNE: If there was ever a dumber idea than making a television movie about her life, I can’t think of it--so naturally the networks produced two such films. And viewers fled. Surprise, surprise.

CLAIRE DANES: The teen-age star of ABC’s “My So-Called Life” is a real find, with an ethereal mystique that is reminiscent of the young Mia Farrow.

ROBERT STACK: Somewhere, he discovered the fountain of youth. It’s an unsolved mystery.

DAVID LETTERMAN: The trick now is to somehow set all that high energy at a comfortable level so that it wears well with audiences for years to come--or else, watch out for Leno.

BRUCE MORTON: The former CBS reporter’s Election Night analysis for CNN illustrated exactly what his old network has given up for glitz in its once matchless news department.

LEONARD GOLDENSON: The master builder of ABC had the last laugh over rivals William Paley of CBS and David Sarnoff of NBC. When Goldenson was struggling with his young network, Sarnoff had the arrogance to suggest to Goldenson “that you take the best programs off CBS and NBC, after we play them, and show them on ABC.” Now ABC is the premier network in comedy, news and sports.

KIRK GIBSON: We’ll never forget that homer, no matter how many years pass.

STEVE ALLEN: A life well spent.