Don’t Blink or You’ll Miss ’94 Highlights

After a year of work stoppages, lockouts, controversy and very little glory, C.W. Nevius of the San Francisco Chronicle isn’t very cheery about the 1994 goings-on in the sports world.

“This has been the year of the press conference,” Nevius writes.

“Has there ever been a year when so many chubby men with such bad haircuts, wearing such dull suits, spent so much time on television leaning into a microphone?

“Sports used to be a move down the lane, a deep pattern to the goal post, a long drive down the left-field line. Now it’s a quick first step to the podium.”

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Add Nevius: “Let’s face it, the biggest story of the year involving a sports figure was a guy in a white Bronco driving up and down the L.A. freeways at below the speed limit. Weird, isn’t it?

“We said we wanted more women in sports, but we didn’t expect it to be prosecutor Marcia Clark.”

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Trivia time: Who is the only Miami Dolphin player to have his number retired by the team?

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In your bass: Phoenix Sun forward Wayman Tisdale, an aspiring bassist, has signed a record deal with MoJAZZ, Motown Records’ jazz division.

“My music speaks for itself,” Tisdale said. “I know there are people who believe that a basketball player can’t play great jazz, but I’ve been blessed with two gifts and I’m going to carry them both out to the best of my ability.”

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Toe woes: Nike shoes can do many things, but, apparently, they cannot fix what ails the toe of New York Knick forward Charles Oakley.

First, reports Shaun Powell of Newsday, the specially designed shoe made by the company he endorses was late arriving, and when it arrived, it didn’t help. Oakley discarded the shoe and sat out four games because of the pain.

With another Nike-designed shoe, Oakley played well in two games before finally giving in. Not only did the latest remedy fail to provide the necessary cushion, but Oakley said the shoe caused him to sprain his ankle several times.

“It’s just too much,” Oakley said as he made the decision to scrap the shoe experiment and undergo surgery. “I really can’t get any lift.”

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Pinhead alert:

Orlando Sentinel columnist Barry Cooper was outraged when Chick Hearn dared to say that he thought Pat Riley would replace Orlando Magic Coach Bob Hill next year.

Cooper retorted: “Hill has done an outstanding job and shouldn’t be subjected to apparently groundless speculation about his future. That’s why you’re a pinhead, Chick.”

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Trivia answer: Bob Griese, No. 12.

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Quotebook: Bernie Miklasz in the St. Louis Post Dispatch on the Blues’ new coach: “By the time they start playing hockey, Mike Keenan may have already escaped from his Blues’ contract.”