Survivors Somberly Look Back on Year Since Quake : Disasters: Clinton and Riordan offer hopeful messages. Emotional reunions and remembrances mark day in L.A.

The remembrances began in darkness and ended in darkness Tuesday, like the scenes of communal terror they commemorated.

At 4:31 a.m., a year to the minute after Angelenos awoke to a living nightmare, a crowd of 500 stood at the lot that once was Northridge Meadows, the apartments where 16 tenants died as the magnitude 6.7 temblor brought the ceiling crashing to the ground.

And 15 hours later, another candlelight procession filed by the chain-link fence surrounding the now-empty lot of the apartment building that was the Northridge earthquake’s most enduring symbol.

In between came a bustling day of anniversary rites: an upbeat speech by President Clinton, whirlwind appearances by Mayor Richard Riordan, reunions of former strangers drawn together during that day of crisis and, at last, the emergence of earthquake humor in “come as you were” parties and “shake and bake” meals.

But hopes of healing the memories with laughter or ritual eluded many as the day’s observances resonated with the news of a far more destructive quake striking Japan with cruel irony on the anniversary day.

“People of Kobe, We Sympathize,” said one of the handwritten memorials posted on the fence surrounding the Northridge Meadows property.

Some saw it as more than a coincidence.

“It says that we’re going to be shaken again here too,” said Phyllis Greenwald, a department store employee at the Sherman Oaks Galleria that was closed for repairs after the quake. “So, batten down the hatches.”

Public officials, including Clinton, treaded lightly on the suffering in Japan, sticking to their messages of hope and confidence.

Surrounded by thousands of well-wishers outside a partially rebuilt Cal State Northridge library, Clinton hailed the federal earthquake relief effort as proof of his argument with the Republicans that government can work.

“Some people say government is inherently bad, always gets in the way and never amounts to anything,” Clinton said.

But he asserted, gesturing at a landscape of heavy construction equipment and newly repaired campus buildings: “I say, look at the difference.”

The federal assistance program has funneled about $12 billion to 600,000 Californians. The President, who traveled to the Sacramento area afterward to inspect flood damage, said that he would “renew his pledge” to continue the effort until quake repairs are completed.

As some local officials noted, however, it is still uncertain whether Clinton and Congress will be able to come up with the $3 billion to $6 billion that Administration officials have estimated may be needed to complete the job.

Appearing beside Riordan, Clinton praised the Cal State Northridge campus for reopening weeks after the quake, despite an estimated $350 million in damage.

“You are now the symbol of the ability of the people of this state to keep coming back after adversity upon adversity,” Clinton said.

He also praised a Northridge Little League team, dubbed the Earthquake Kids, which last year won the national Little League championship and “did something the pros couldn’t--kept baseball going.”

Making rebuilding the theme of his day, Riordan got started with a host of local, state and federal dignitaries at Art’s Deli, the 37-year Studio City landmark that burned to the ground after the Northridge quake but was rebuilt nine months later.

Out front, mounted on a truck, stood one of the 30 donated billboards that will soon bear the city’s recovery motto: “You Can Shake L.A. but You Can’t Break It.”

Speaking to about 100 people and an army of television crews, Riordan said Art’s represents the resiliency of Los Angeles. And, besides, “Wherever there is lox and bagels, there is love and caring,” the mayor said.

Later, speaking before a disaster response conference at Universal City, Riordan said the earthquake forced the city to modernize its outdated emergency response equipment and put more energy into preparing for the next disaster.

“We’ve come a long way and we will continue to improve our emergency response programs,” he told the conference, which was hosted by the state Office of Emergency Services and attended by about 200 city officials. “We will continually push the envelope to keep Los Angeles prepared for action.”

Echoing Riordan’s message, a nonprofit business assistance group, the Valley Economic Development Center, handed out Phoenix awards to businesses that overcame overwhelming damage to rebuild after the quake.

Among the 33 business owners honored at the Sportsmen’s Lodge in Studio City was Dan Sandel, owner of Devon Industries, a medical supplies manufacturer in Chatsworth that got a $9.1-million loan from the Small Business Administration, the largest disaster loan in U.S. history. Sandel persuaded SBA officials to grant him an exception to its $1.5-million loan cap.

“The year was incredible for me because I learned the power of the government,” he said. “It made me a believer.”

Also on Tuesday, the Los Angeles Community Development Department opened the city’s first permanent Earthquake Recovery Community Service Center in Pacoima, a working-class neighborhood a few miles northeast of the quake’s epicenter.

The center is intended to integrate government services such as housing and loan assistance and insurance information.

“We don’t want to provide more stuff ,” Community Development Department Director Parker Anderson said. “We just mean to link them in a rational way, to make them more effective.”

Speaking at the opening, Councilman Richard Alarcon, who represents the northeast Valley, called it a happy day.

“I think we should count our blessings today,” Alarcon said. “To think about what is going on in Japan, that we were blessed not to suffer greater damages in the San Fernando Valley and Los Angeles as a whole.”

The unsettling images from Japan caused Riordan’s staff to make one exception to the mayor’s determinedly optimistic front, canceling a “Tonight Show” appearance in which host Jay Leno was to play the straight man in a comedy skit about the quake.

“It would be unseemly to do a comic routine on the anniversary of the Northridge quake when a greater disaster has happened in Japan,” press deputy Jane Galbraith said.

A spokeswoman from the “Tonight Show” said officials understood Riordan’s reason for canceling the appearance and plan on rescheduling the mayor.

No such reservations kept a handful of regulars at the Santa Clarita Valley Senior Center from joining in on an earthquake joke.

Wearing what she had on when the quake struck last Jan. 17, Valerie Lesher, 78, of Valencia came to the center in leopard-skin pajamas and carrying her teddy bear. Bea Flatz, 73, of Newhall, recapturing the smallest details, wore her green curlers, nightcap and fuzzy blue slippers.

But for most who observed it, the anniversary remained a time for painful personal reflections.

Greenwald, the department store employee, said she planned to meet Tuesday night with several dozen former residents of her Van Nuys apartment building, which was condemned a week after the earthquake.

“We want to see some of our old friends and neighbors, to see how they’re doing, to see where they’re living,” she said.

A group of Reseda condominium owners were up before dawn for a glum vigil outside their vacant Sherman Way building, which has fallen into receivership.

“We are basically in the same position we were the day of the quake, standing outside our homes and looking in at the wreckage, not knowing what was going to happen to them or us,” said Janet Smith, a first-time homeowner and the mother of an 18-month-old boy.

The Joslyn Adult Center in Burbank was one of several agencies that offered earthquake counseling sessions.

Several of those who attended said they still have difficulty sleeping and live in fear of being caught alone during the next quake.

Jean Moore, 73, said she is nearly always in constant fear of another temblor.

“I can’t get over it,” she said. “It’s the media, every time I reach a point where I’m getting over it. They say, ‘ “The Big One” is coming, “The Big One” is coming,’ and it scares me again. I’ve been glad today to get it out of me. Sometimes just talking about it helps.”

Most of the former tenants of Northridge Meadows stayed away from the early morning observance, afraid of the painful memories the vigil might rekindle. But the service, sponsored by the Interfaith Council, offered others an opportunity to heal.

Their notion of family and home forever altered, five Northridge Meadows survivors clasped hands and cried at the site of their former home.

A few minutes later in an interdenominational service at nearby Northridge United Methodist Church, former tenants Cary Erdman, Lorraine Ellison, Bea Killiam, Leo Kossin and Margaret Figueroa were a powerful force as they joined hands in the front pew and sang “Amazing Grace.”

“We’re family,” Erdman said, fighting back tears. “We’ve come to be family even though we’ve all moved to different areas.”

Many of the others who came had been residents displaced from other apartment buildings just a few blocks away.

“We lived up the street. We just thought this was a good way to put it behind us,” one woman said as she chased a tiny dog she had named FEMA, after the Federal Emergency Management Agency, which provided federal money for quake victims.

And so they came, to face their fears and lay them to rest.

“Every little bit helps us,” Lee Rich said as he tearfully clung to girlfriend Kristie Berthiaume, who had lived at an apartment near Northridge Meadows. “By being here with others, it helps us let go. We’re holding on to it. Our hearts are still here in Northridge, in our apartment.”

“We’ve moved three times,” Berthiaume said. “We can’t call anywhere home.”

Times staff writers Sharon Bernstein, Errol A. Cockfield, John M. Glionna, Hugo Martin, Ann W. O’Neill, Paul Richter, John Chandler, Marc Lacey, Jocelyn Y. Stewart and L.D. Straub and special correspondent Mark Sabbatini contributed to this story.

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