And the Winner of This Year’s ‘Josh’ Awards . . . : Movies: To heck with the Oscars, here are honors (or dishonors) for the most memorable cassette campaigns to entice academy voters.

Until late December, my daily mail--an assortment of sales catalogues, throwaway newspapers and advertising circulars, subscription magazines, meeting announcements, numerous bills, an occasional check and a personal letter or two--arrives rather silently and almost unobtrusively as it slides through the slot on my door. But in late December, my mail hits the floor with a loud clump. And I leap to my feet and rush to pick up the latest batch of basic brown-paper-bag Jiffy mailers.

I am talking, of course, of the seasonal glut of videocassettes that overwhelm the members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences in an attempt to woo our Academy Award votes.

Now, I usually eschew video rental stores and deny their product a presence on a turf where offspring intrude, wives insist and phones interrupt. I prefer chauffeuring myself to the mall to savor film in the anonymity of the communal dark.

But after dutifully, if prejudicially, tapping into the pile of cassettes sent to me, I have decided that the only vote I am entitled to render is not for best picture, best actor or best writer, but rather for the categories peculiar to the cassette campaign itself.

And so now, on behalf of my fellow Academy members who are similarly besieged, I will unflap my mental envelope and award the first “Josh” awards:

* The Empty Box Award: Each year a studio assortment arrives with an empty case, promising delivery of that cassette at some future date. This year’s winner is “The Lion King.”

* The Most Requested to Be Borrowed by Friends and Neighbors and Fed Ex Employees Award: “The Lion King.”

* The Best Making of a Movie Award: “The Making of Quiz Show.”

* The Care Least If It’s Never Returned After It’s Borrowed Award: “The Making of Quiz Show.”

* The Doubles Award: In 1993, studios sent out two copies of “Shadowlands” and “The Joy Luck Club.” I am happy to report that there are no candidates for this prize this year.

* The Early Bird Award: This honor, very much like the bonus promised in the Publishing Clearing House flier, goes to the cassette arriving last: “Blue Sky.”

* The Thank You Anyway Award: This laurel is for the cassette that is not eligible for an Oscar in any category. This year’s winner: “Three Colors: White.”

* The No Thanks Anyway Award: The cassette one most expects to receive, but doesn’t. There is a dead heat this year: “Interview With the Vampire” and “Disclosure.”

* The Picture I Never Heard of Before Award: “A Gitty of Heaven.”

* The Picture I Heard of but Least Expected to Get Award: “Hoop Dreams.”

* The I’m Secretly Relieved I Never Got a Copy Award: “I’ll Do Anything.”

* The Drop Dead Award: To impede and disturb one’s possible viewing pleasure, most of the cassettes carry gracelessly recurring and off-putting dire warnings that the cassette is not for sale or for rental and is in no way the property of the viewer but that of the studio and that it would be a federal case if anyone thought any differently for a single second. This year’s winner, however, not only has pasted across its box a sticker reading: “SPECIAL ACADEMY SCREENING COPY; MAY NOT BE SOLD, RENTED OR COPIED. PROPERTY OF TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX,” but also, after repeating that message endlessly on a strip below the picture during the course of the movie, flashes an individual set of digits like that of the serial number of an automotive engine (mine is 16692 and I’ll try to remove it anyway). The runaway winner: “Speed.”

* The Best Picture From Two Years Ago That Got Mixed in With This Year’s Pile and I Only Got Around to Seeing It by Mistake Award: “Patriot Games.”

* The Gardener’s Son Award: This prize goes to the cassette annually bestowed by my wife upon the winsome lad. This year’s award: “The Flintstones.”

* The Odd Couple Award: Studio packaging makes for strange Styrofoam mates. This year, “Forrest Gump” came with “IQ.”