THE NBA / MARK HEISLER : Good Thing Nothing Big Happened

In Michaelburg, formerly known as Chicago, it’s madness as usual.

After Michael Jordan shot seven for 28 in his first game, the Mike Gazette, formerly known as the Chicago Tribune, ran a front-page diagram of Jordan’s right arm, showing which muscles needed toning.

It was played above the story about the Tokyo subway terrorist attack. The Trib also had its international correspondents ask people on the street in China, Poland, Brazil, France, Israel and Mexico what they thought of Mike’s return. So although it may still be true that a billion Chinese don’t care, a few of them, at least, had to confront the issue.

Remarkably, no correspondent quit on the spot, but there’s a slow economy in the newspaper biz.

In a city gone nuts, guess who comes off as the rational one?

Yes, it’s Mike, who said goodby 18 months ago, peppering his farewell news conference with more than 20 rueful references to “you guys,” the reporters in attendance.

Based on his last season, the guessing was that upon returning, he would confine his remarks to chats with his NBC valet, Ahmad Rashad. Instead, Jordan has been Chatty Cathy, totally gracious, suddenly at peace with who he is.

Of course, young players haven’t lined up to thank him for saying they’ve embarrassed the game.

Said Larry Johnson: “I don’t know about the other young guns, but Larry Johnson’s going to be Larry Johnson, no matter what anybody says. . . . The league milks millions and millions of dollars off us. The responsibility for that goes without saying.”

Jordan is not quite the All-American boy, as he has demonstrated on occasion. However, when Johnson, who makes $7 million a year, complains he’s being “milked;” when Derrick Coleman calls Karl Malone an Uncle Tom, and Shaquille O’Neal mumbles and Isaiah Rider is Isaiah Rider, Mike’s looking good.

Also, it’s nice to note that a few Chicagoans retain some perspective.

Jordan’s kids didn’t watch his first game. They went to see the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers at the United Center.

THE HORSES AT THE HEAD OF THE STRETCH

The races, going into the last month of the season:

*

EAST

1. Orlando Magic--A lock. Shaq and Penny Hardaway may not yet be model spokesmen, but they’re serious, hard-working young players.

2. Central Division winner--Indiana Pacers or Charlotte Hornets. The Pacers have a better schedule, an 11-5 home-road split to the Hornets’ 8-7.

3. New York Knicks--They don’t look great now, but at least no one will drag them any lower, giving them time to see if they like each other enough to go on from here.

4. Pacers-Hornets loser. Bad news: If the Bulls catch the Cleveland Cavaliers, this team gets Jordan in the opening round.

5. Bulls-Cavaliers winner. Figure the Bulls, who have trimmed 6 1/2 games off Cleveland’s seven-game lead since Feb. 27. Or in other words, it’s just like old times when the Bulls specialized in Cavalier destruction.

6. Bulls-Cavaliers loser.

7. Atlanta Hawks.

8. Winner among the Miami Heat, New Jersey Nets, Milwaukee Bucks and Boston Celtics. Nice race: The winner will be about 33-49. Young Heat Coach Alvin Gentry has shoe-horned Billy Owens into the lineup as a big guard-point forward and Owens finally looks like the player people thought he’d be. The don’t-call-them-dogs, it’s-an-insult-to-dogs Nets play nine of their last 13 at home.

*

WEST

1. Utah Jazz-Phoenix Suns winner. Everyone’s been prattling on (hello) about their centers, but when the Jazz wins at Orlando, it’s time to rethink things. The Jazz is hotter, 15-5 since the All-Star break to the Suns’ 11-8. The Suns are still tough whenever Charles Barkley and Kevin Johnson are uninjured.

2. Jazz-Suns loser.

3. San Antonio Spurs. Probably can’t catch Utah with Dennis Rodman out, but he’ll be back by the playoffs.

4. Seattle SuperSonics. At least they don’t have to worry about peaking too early again. Since mid-January, they’re 3-12 against winning teams.

5. Lakers-Houston Rockets winner. I couldn’t believe the Lakers could win 50 games. I couldn’t believe they could stay up without Cedric Ceballos and Eddie Jones, but here they are--10 wins from the 50 mark. Rockets just got Robert Horry back and can field their real team for the first time since the Clyde Drexler-Otis Thorpe deal. A Laker victory tonight would clinch the season series and break any tie in the final standings.

6. Lakers-Rockets loser. Gets Spurs in the first round, rather than SuperSonics.

7. Portland Trail Blazers.

8. Denver Nuggets-Sacramento Kings winner. Denver is 10-7 under Bernie Bickerstaff. The Kings are 7-14 since the All-Star break.

THE LIFE AND DEATH OF REGGIE LEWIS

It’s hard to remember there was once a real person named Reggie Lewis.

He’s a maligned saint to his defenders, a target of legitimate inquiry and journalistic butt-covering, too (the Boston Herald, desperate to get on the board, stooped to quoting a drug dealer who said he’d sold Lewis cocaine).

Neophyte Celtic owner Donald Gaston, perhaps upset at taking his own knocks in the press, called the Wall Street Journal story “racist” and said he’d sue for $100 million. NBC boss Dick Ebersol, whose network is in business with the NBA, called the Journal story, based on interviews with 12 doctors, “irresponsible.”

A friend of Lewis, who had first denied that Reggie did drugs and later recanted, said he had used cocaine with Lewis and Len Bias, tying up all the Celtic nightmares in one package.

The president of Northeastern University said Lewis had tested positive for cocaine while a student there.

The Celtics retired Lewis’ number, while everyone railed at the media, the timing, the snitches. TV poofs like CNN’s Fred Hickman, uncomfortable with an actual story, asked plaintively, “Why now?”

Why not now? Unbecoming as it is, there is only a problem if the story is inaccurate. What’s the statute of limitations on the truth?

Truth is slithery, indeed, and if we never get to it, there are things we can say.

Lewis was no saint, just a nice, low-key guy, no matter what other values the Celtics might have wished to add in these publicity-driven times when players are contractually obligated to make charity appearances and camera crews go along to preserve the moment.

Despite what they would like you to think, professional sport is not entirely made up of selfless men who devote hours each day to good works.

The hype has to be defended against enemies, like reality. A player who trips is banished, not so much for his own good but to protect the myth that everyone else is a Boy Scout. Baseball still bars Pete Rose from the Hall of Fame, suggesting he isn’t fit company for some of the drunks, rogues and scalawags already enshrined therein.

If Lewis used cocaine, it wouldn’t mean he was singularly stupid, not in an age when it’s hard to find a candidate for the Supreme Court or, indeed, a President who didn’t experiment with drugs.

If wouldn’t mean Lewis let his fans down. It would mean he let himself down. It wouldn’t mean he failed as a role model for someone else’s kids; it would mean he failed his own kids.

Tragedy is a word used too often in sports, but it applies here. It’s not Don Gaston’s or Celtic fans’ or the NBA’s. It’s Reggie Lewis’ own.

It’s proper that they put No. 35 up with the other Celtic greats of high character or low. He was a fine young player and it’s where he belongs.

FACES AND FIGURES

Insiders say Philadelphia owner Harold Katz has decided to trade Shawn Bradley for whatever he can get. “Forget the money,” says Magic personnel director John Gabriel, a former 76er official. “Is he a basketball player who has shown enough that he deserves an opportunity? The answer is absolutely yes. From the damage already done, will that happen in Philly? The answer is probably no.” . . . Expected to line up at the door when the 76ers put Bradley on the block: Utah and Phoenix.

Philadelphia guard Jeff Malone, returning after missing 41 games, said he’d make a statement like Jordan’s but longer: “I’m back--also.” . . . How do you say “You’re toast” in Serbo-Croatian? Jordan’s return means twiggy Toni Kukoc is headed for the bench in favor of an actual power forward. “Toni’s game is with the ball,” teammate Steve Kerr says. “Toni’s got to learn a different role and he’s just got to get used to that.” A skeptical insider notes that Kerr will have to learn a different role, too: Hand the ball to Mike and get out of the way.

Chicago Coach Phil Jackson to Jordan after his first game: “Seven for 28 might be acceptable in baseball, but we’re expecting something around 50% here.”

Nice resume: Piston basketball boss Billy McKinney is reportedly looking for another job, after trading off Dennis Rodman and Sean Elliott, giving the Spurs the option of flopping picks this spring--which will put San Antonio in the lottery--and signing Oliver Miller. . . . Rider took his third one-game suspension (at $31,700 each) for missing a shoot-around. He still trails Houston’s Vernon Maxwell, $234,000 to $95,100. If anyone can make up that much ground, Rider’s the man.

Incredible but true: Kevin McHale, the new Tenderwolves’ boss, is expected to hire straight-laced, heavy-handed, abject-coaching-failure Quinn Buckner as general manager, after which they may have to auction off Rider, Christian Laettner and half the roster, which, come to think of it, may be a good idea. Says the Dallas Mavericks’ Jamal Mashburn, who played for Buckner last season: “I guess once you play in Boston, you can always get a job. I hope he’ll be a better general manager than he was a coach. I wish him the best but I know one thing: If I ever get traded, I won’t be coming to Minnesota.”

Forget Coleman’s bad manners (if it weren’t for bad manners, he wouldn’t have any manners at all) but how dumb is it to insult Malone before and after every meeting? In their eight meetings, the Mailman has averaged 27 points, 12 rebounds and shot 48% to DC’s 15-11-32% and the Jazz is 8-0. Coleman sat out two Utah games with back spasms. Malone has missed four games in his 10-year career. . . . Sun Coach Paul Westphal after Barkley’s three-pointer beat the Hornets: “That’s why we put up with his crap.”