They Should Settle This on the Court

Where’s that tort reform when you need it?

Wilbur the Wildcat, the University of Arizona mascot who lost a wrestling match to Razorback, the University of Arkansas mascot, just before Arizona lost to Arkansas in the 1994 Final Four, is suing.

Devin Elliott, the Arizona student in the suit, filed a $100,000 claim against Arkansas’ Gary Dickson for injuries he claims he received in the brief scuffle.

Said Mitch Albom on ESPN’s “Sports Reporters”: “Only in America can one man in an animal head file suit against another man in an animal head.

“It’s March Madness, baby, mascot vs. mascot. . . . I can hardly wait for next year’s Final Fur--er, Four.”

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Trivia time: Ben Crenshaw won the Masters in 1984 and 1995. Which golfer holds the record for most years between Masters victories?

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Outcasts: Welcome to Cape--er, Camp Fehr.

The Major League Baseball Players Assn. is running a camp in Homestead, Fla., for unsigned free agents who are trying to get in shape in the hope of getting another contract.

Such notables as Howard Johnson and Mariano Duncan are still there.

“We’re going to call ourselves the Homestead Homies, the team of the misfits,” Randy Velarde told the New York Times before re-signing with the Yankees.

Said Chris Sabo, growing restless: “You would think the teams, if they want you, would want you before the (exhibition) games start. There are only 10 or 11 games. You’d think they’d want you to get used to your teammates. I’m not going to sit down here forever.”

However, owners have to take their frustrations out on someone. Only a few teams sent scouts to take a look.

Said Sabo after accepting a pay cut to $550,000 from the White Sox: “To be honest with you, I didn’t have much choice.”

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The unforgiven: Early indications suggest the owners aren’t the only ones having trouble putting the strike behind them.

At the Yankee camp in Ft. Lauderdale, a fan recently harangued pitcher Jack McDowell.

“How many jobs were lost because $5 million wasn’t enough, Jack?” yelled the fan. “How much was lost in the South Florida economy, $100 million?”

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Sugar daddy: Turning to boxing, in which fans are customarily ignored, we find the Mike Tyson-George Foreman match is a longshot because Foreman is promoted by Bob Arum and Tyson by Arum’s arch-enemy, Don King.

Instead, are you ready for Tyson-Oliver McCall?

McCall, who defended his World Boxing Council title with a decision over Larry Holmes, is also promoted by King. McCall was once Tyson’s sparring partner, for $2,500, which is pocket change now.

Last week in Las Vegas, McCall and Tyson went on a shopping spree in an expensive men’s store.

“We shopped until we dropped,” McCall said. “We spent about $100,000. It was Don’s idea. I couldn’t refuse. As a matter of fact, he paid for it. That’s why we spent so much.”

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Add buddies: McCall says he and Tyson also agree on the diminishing skills of another contender, Riddick Bowe, managed by prickly Rock Newman.

“We both came up with the same conclusion,” McCall told the London Times. “He’s a big, tall, fat bum now. Of all the guys in the heavyweight division, even including Lennox Lewis, Riddick Bowe looks the worst.

“He’s declined, as far as his skills go, more than anyone in the top 10 of the division.”

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Trivia answer: Gary Player, who won in 1961 and 1974 (and also 1978).

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Quotebook: NBC golf commentator Johnny Miller on foreign players in the Masters: “They have nothing like this place (Augusta National) back home in Europe. For them, the Masters must be like going on a blind date, opening the door and being greeted by Sharon Stone.”