Cheers! L.A., as you’re no doubt acutely...

Cheers! L.A., as you’re no doubt acutely aware, is trying to come up with a catchy nickname to attract tourists and businesses.

Well, we think we’ve come up with just the right one. A survey by New York-based Jobson Publishing ranks L.A.-Long Beach as the No. 1 metropolitan area in terms of tequila consumption. Angelenos and Beachers guzzle 6.5% of the nation’s total, innumerable rounds ahead of No. 2 Houston (2.9%).

What’s more, Riverside-San Bernardino (No. 5), San Diego (No. 7) and Orange County (No. 9) all rank in the Top 10.

So it’s obvious what L.A.’s nickname--indeed, what Southern California’s nickname--should be:

Margaritaville!

We’re not sure we’d use the “wastin’ away again . . . “ part of the Jimmy Buffett song lyric, though.

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Bottoms up: Hill’s Code 7, the 1st Street bar that was a second home to cops, reporters and politicians, closed three years ago. Maybe because it catered more to drinkers whose idea of a mixed drink was a bourbon washed down with a beer.

But the Code 7 (police lingo for out to lunch) has achieved immortality--we almost said, immorality--of a sort in “False Pretenses,” a private eye novel by Arthur Lyons.

Lyons changed the name to Code 3 and transplanted it to Hollywood but the description will be familiar to Code 7 vets: “Dark wood paneling and flashing red lights behind the bar and wall decorations of nightsticks and police shoulder patches from every department in the country. It was kept dimly lit so that you couldn’t see the burst capillaries in the noses of its patrons or the tire tracks in the faces of the cop groupies who hung out in the place.”

Memories.

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Who said the price of education is high? A sales slip sent to us by Gina Mullican of Rolling Hills Estates indicates you can get a pretty good deal on a brain at USC.

But, caution: There’s a three-day return policy.

Actually, the item is a book, “The Human Brain: An Introduction to Anatomy,” which doesn’t seem like such a bargain.

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Unclear on the concept: Robert Vinson of L.A. noticed that a prescription for insomnia was accompanied by instructions that said: “This medicine works very quickly. Take this medicine right before going to bed. Use it only when you will be able to sleep 7 to 8 hours or longer.”

The prescription also contained this surprising warning: “This medicine may cause drowsiness.”

miscelLAny Boris Raynes of Palos Verdes Estates found one of Southern California’s most unusual speed limit signs at the entrance to the Ojai Valley Inn. And visitors are advised to know their fractions.