Well, Who’s Going to Tell Him They Don’t Think It’s Manly?

While visiting the Orlando Magic locker room before a game with the Lakers at the Forum on March 20, Woody Woodburn of the Ventura Star noticed that Shaquille O’Neal’s toenails are painted red.

“No pedicure,” Shaq said. “I do it myself.”

Wrote Woodburn: “Suddenly Rosey Grier’s needlepoint hobby seems as manly as rebuilding a race-car engine.”

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Trivia time: Who holds the major league record for most grand slams?

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Catbird seat: The lonely cat in the rafters at Southern Methodist’s Moody Coliseum was finally rescued Monday.

The feline attracted national attention last Thursday, when, in the middle of a news conference, she let out a loud meow for 15 seconds.

Humane cat traps were put out but with no luck. She was finally caught with sardines as bait. The cat quickly found a home with Barbara Sanders, a member of the SMU custodial staff.

“I’ll call it Moody,” she said.

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Net bread winners: Mark Preston of Tennis magazine asked Brad Gilbert, Andre Agassi’s coach, whether he thought parents of tennis players are worse than in any other sport.

“It’s awful,” Gilbert said. “On the women’s tour, it’s a total travesty because so many of these girls become good and their parents have no jobs. So you have a 14-year-old earning all the money for the family.”

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Ouch! Gary Shelton in the St. Petersburg Times: “Now that Nancy Kerrigan is engaged, you wonder what Tonya Harding will get her for a wedding present. My guess is the Club.”

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Come again? Mitch Albom, on ESPN’s Sports Reporters Sunday, said baseball’s return is “like a rock group breaking up and getting back together. There’s more excitement now.”

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Vicious: Earl McRae of the Ottawa Sun on the floundering local NHL team: “The Senators are a pathetic, gawd-awful collection of stiffs. And the prime reason is GM Randy Sexton, who should have his know-nothing . . . fired out of here.”

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Hard to make par: When Hakeem Olajuwon sat out eight games because of iron deficiency anemia, Pete Chilcutt, Houston Rocket forward/center, was asked how his absence affected the team:

“It’s like playing golf without your driver,” he said.

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Overkill? Recent headline in the New York Post: “Wretched Nets on death’s door.”

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Anything else? Joseph A. Reaves of the Chicago Tribune reported that when a Japanese sportswriter was asked how former Florida Marlin first baseman Orestes Destrade was doing in his return to Japan this year, he got a succinct answer:

“Weight over. Power down. Homer or nothing.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1958, the Montreal Canadiens won the Stanley Cup for the third consecutive year with a 5-3 victory over the Boston Bruins in the sixth game.

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Trivia answer: Lou Gehrig of the New York Yankees with 23 from 1923 to 1939.

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Quotebook: Phoenix Sun Coach Paul Westphal, responding to criticism that he’s too soft on his players: “Maybe I should get a tattoo and start cussing.”