THEY’RE MAJOR MOMS : ‘I Found God Again . . . and My Son’

Senorina Rendon, 50, a mother of six children ages 18 to 28 and a grandmother to three, was one of three women recently named Woman of the Year by the city of South Gate, where she has lived for 16 years.

Her typical day, which starts at 6 a.m. and ends at 11:30 p.m., includes running her home, taking an English class at Compton Community College and teaching parent education at the Southeast area’s Juvenile Assistance Diversion Effort. She was interviewed by community correspondent Enrique Lavin.

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When I discovered that I had a son in a gang, it was very sad for me. You never think that it could happen to you. But it happened to me.

I feel everyone that is a mother loves her children very much. That’s why it’s very disheartening to see a child go to waste. We have to act right away, to get close and to find out what he or she is going through.

So even though I was sad and hurt, I felt very strong. I told myself that I will help him get out and move forward, that I must do whatever it takes to help him until I can no longer do so.

Our Mexican culture is very beautiful. My parents showed me how to respect our neighbors, to respect our elders, to be a believer of God. That’s beautiful to me. But the methods by which those principles were taught are wrong.

I used to be a very hard mother; the violence accompanied by that machismo we bring from our native lands is something that is very destructive.

I thought that by being tough with severe punishment, always yelling--like my father did to get a point across--I could keep my children under control. If a child had a question, the parent would silence them, showing them their authority.

That is not the way to raise children. That is not normal. Nothing good can come from that.

We have to be a little more conscious about our children’s lives. We are so confident that we stop going to open houses at the schools where we meet teachers. There are so many details that are important that we forget. After my two oldest graduated, I’d drop off the younger ones at school and return home. To do what? Nothing, absolutely nothing in regards to helping them through their education.

When I realized that, and saw one of the younger ones getting in trouble, I knew I had to change. That’s what sparked a different way of thinking in me.

I was desperately seeking ways to help my child, and I found God. Through spiritual guidance and that of parent counselors at the schools where my children went, I learned how to reach him.

After I discovered he was a gang member, I realized how little attention I had given him in comparison to his older brothers. One day, I sat down with him and asked him to look at me in the eyes. But he didn’t. I told him I was sorry that I hadn’t given him the attention that he needed. I told him I wanted not only to be his mother, but his friend.

“This is the time when you need your parents most,” I said to him. He was only 13 years old at the time. I spoke clearly to him even as I cried. He raised his eyes to mine and rested his hands on my shoulders and wept with me.

Eventually we began to speak to each other more. He began to participate more in family activities upon my request. And soon after, he became part of the family again.

And that is why my child is no longer in a gang now. I consider it a miracle because I not only found God again, but my son. Now that people see my child completely transformed, I tell them “he’s a new man.”

I proposed to my husband that I must help all my sons graduate from high school. And that’s the way it is.

This is where I see the difference. I’m a better parent now, I have more patience. My children are closer to me, something even my husband has noticed. Ever since my son got out of gangs, he gives me a bouquet of flowers every eight days.

Now, with my grandchildren, I have another chance.