Sightings of Real Baseball Reported in O.C.

G reetings from the baseball capital of the universe . . .

* The Angels are in first place. Cal State Fullerton is a game away from the College World Series. More than 25,000 humans consented to attend an American League game on a Friday night at Anaheim Stadium. And you thought this was roller hockey country.

* The Angels winning six in a row after the announcement of the Disney purchase was starting to worry me, though. We don’t need anything resembling “Angels In The Outfield 2” in this lifetime or the next.

* And I’m not even going to mention Chuck Finley going 0-4 pre-Disney, then striking out 15 in a 10-0 two-hit triumph over the Yankees.

* It’s almost June and the Angels haven’t fired their manager yet. Off-season free-agent acquisition Lee Smith has 11 saves. Preseason trade acquisition Tony Phillips has six home runs. Before Disney comes in and cleans the house, it might want to explore the idea of leaving the offices of Bill Bavasi and Tim Mead as they are.

* If the season ended today, the Angels would have home-field advantage against Boston in the first round of the playoffs.

* If the season ended today, the American League West would place two--yes, two--teams in the playoffs.

* If the season ended today, there’d be a lot of off-days before the playoffs began.

* “Breakfast With The Titans” has been an exciting new concept (providing you can find the damn games on the radio), but, really, two 9 a.m. (PDT) starts in three days for the top-ranked team in the nation? “We’re No. 1 in the country but definitely No. 6 at LSU,” Fullerton Coach Augie Garrido quips.

* LSU’s athletic department also could do Garrido and his torn Achilles’ tendon no favors during the South Regional. The host school was unable to provide Garrido with the mini-golf cart he uses to drive around the diamond, so the Garrido had to pack and ship his own to Baton Rouge. “They used to call me ‘Skipper,’ ” Garrido says. “Now they call me ‘Scooter.’ ”

* Ted Silva, Fullerton’s ace pitcher, played three sports in high school and says baseball was easily his least favorite. “It drove me crazy, just standing around and doing nothing,” he says. “I always preferred basketball and football. Basketball’s just more of a faster game. Faster and more active.”

* Although, Silva will admit, baseball has taken him places. One more victory and it’s back to Omaha for the second time in 13 months.

* First the Knicks and now the Rangers--out of the playoffs before the semifinals. It’s been a spectacular postseason so far.

* Hakeem Olajuwon, David Robinson, Shaquille O’Neal, Rik Smits. What’s wrong with this picture?

* That’s obvious. Robinson and O’Neal were never soccer goalies as kids.

* Olajuwon used to guard the nets while growing up in Nigeria, Smits in Holland. If they should meet in the NBA finals, how about a smashing round of penalty kicks?

* Of course, if they do meet in the finals, that means it’s Houston-Indiana in NBA’s marquee event of 1995. Within seconds, David Stern will on the phone trying to talk Magic Johnson back into the league. And after him, Larry Bird, Dr. J, George Gervin and Oscar Robertson.

* Chicago Blackhawks, Detroit Red Wings, Philadelphia Flyers, Pittsburgh Penguins and New Jersey Devils. What’s wrong with this picture?

* The last five teams in the Stanley Cup playoffs--and not one of them plays in a Canadian city. That would be like Montreal and Toronto meeting in the World Series.

* The World Series. You remember. Used to be played by the American and National League pennant winners during October. They gave out a trophy and diamond rings and everything.

* Scariest movie of the summer? “Bettman Forever.”

* In the film, hockey players from 19 U.S. cities are locked outside the haunted house and they can’t get in. Meanwhile, deep inside the dungeon below, an unfortunate band of Canadian hockey teams meet their gruesome demise, one by one.

* The Denver Nordiques? They’ll have to change the name, of course, keeping in mind the town’s history and heritage. Something for which the city is renowned. Presenting . . . the Denver 10, San Francisco 55ers.

* The erstwhile Nordiques will play in the NHL’s Western Conference next season, bringing the conference membership to 13 and pushing the playoff aspirations of the Ducks down another rung. Next season, the Ducks will have to beat out the Kings, Edmonton, Winnipeg, Dallas and San Jose to qualify.

* But then the Ducks have all this increased ticket revenue with which to “upgrade the roster.” By my calculations, Jeremy Roenick, Chris Chelios, Pavel Bure and Jaromir Jagr ought to just about be enough.

* St. Louis lost in the first round of the NHL playoffs because Curtis Joseph choked, the Blues are gutless, Brett Hull is no Mark Messier and entire roster, basically, is useless. That’s Mike Keenan’s version, anyway.

* The Blues’ version: Mike Keenan.

* The NFL has agreed to help build a new football stadium for Al Davis. Some newspapers have published a full-page advertisement begging Davis to bring back the Raiders and promising a “the biggest red carpet you ever saw.” Al Davis, Friend To The World, Beloved By All. Who wouldn’t want to help him out?

* Let this be a lesson, Orange County. Twelve years down the line, I don’t want to see any “Please, Georgia, Come Back” ads chewing up valuable wood pulp, all right?

* And while we’re discussing wood pulp: USA Today has decided to poll readers on what they would do to speed up the turtle’s pace of the average major league game. I thought the owners and the players came up with a solution for this last August.