Intergalactic single momWe saw the movie “Species”...

Intergalactic single mom

We saw the movie “Species” and frankly suspect it’s political propaganda. The plot revolves around a beautiful but murderous woman who has been created in a lab with the help of a DNA code sent to Earth from outer space. She wants to have a child. So where does she go?

L.A.

The film’s message is clear: California’s liberal welfare laws are even attracting unmarried mothers from elsewhere in the universe.

WE DON’T WANT TO REVEAL THE ENDING: But let’s just say Ms. Space Alien is not put on trial for her offenses in “Species.” So you don’t have to worry about sitting through any testimony of DNA experts from outer space.

A THIEF IN NEED OF AN UPGRADE: A neighbor of ours reports she took her bicycle out of the garage and locked it to a railing so an out-of-state visitor could drop by and borrow it. “When she came to pick it up,” our neighbor reports, “the lock was gone. The bike was gone too. But another, this one with rickety handlebars, had been left in its place.”

HAVING OUR CAKE (CONT.): We mentioned the myth about Neiman-Marcus charging an unsuspecting diner $250 for a cookie recipe. Which apparently was an updated version of a 1930s yarn that had New York’s Waldorf Hotel charging an unsuspecting diner $100 for a recipe for its cake.

First, thanks to Kate Hogan and other readers who answered our pleas for the cake recipe (this was no ethical lapse on our part--we obviously wanted it for research).

Nicolas Michael, meanwhile, wrote that the Waldorf rumor was alive as recently as “the late ‘60s or early ‘70s. When I was working at IBM in Poughkeepsie, N.Y., the rumor went around that an IBMer had the same experience at the Waldorf and, to get even, sent the recipe to every newspaper cooking column as well as to everyone at IBM. I made it and it is delicious. I have included the recipe.”

We appreciate the gesture, Nicolas.

But, wait a minute. We thought this was a rum cake . . .

ANAGRAMS OF THE DAY: Phil Frankenfeld, who calls himself the Deacon of Deconstruction, came up with these breakdowns:

--THE BEVERLY HILLS HOTEL--THY BILL? HOT, SEVERE HELL.

--COUNTY USC MEDICAL CENTER--MISC. ACCOUNT RECENTLY DUE

--L.A. PHILHARMONIC--HORN CLAIM: L.A. HIP!

SENSITIVE BUREAUCRAT DEPT.: When a private nurse filed for unemployment insurance in Pasadena recently, a state bureaucrat sent a letter to the address of her last employer. The employer was asked to verify the nurse’s reason for leaving the job “within 10 days. . . . Failure to respond may result in an increased Employment Tax Rate.”

The employer couldn’t respond, however, due to the nurse’s reason for leaving the job. As the nurse noted on that form:

“EMPLOYER DIED.”

We hope the state elects not to penalize the deceased employer.

miscelLAny Ken Ayeroff of West L.A. noticed that a Carl’s Jr. restaurant was listed in the 1995-96 Pacific Bell Yellow Pages under the heading, “Physicians & Surgeons, MD.” Unbelievable. Now we could understand if Pac Bell had listed a Burger King in the sawbones section. You know, Burger King--”Where’s the beef?”