This Christian Isn’t Winning Many Converts

Dan Barreiro of the Star Tribune of Minneapolis had this needling assessment of Christian Laettner, the presumably arrogant forward of the Minnesota Timberwolves:

“Why can’t any of us get it? Why are we unable to understand the sheer brilliance of this superstar in waiting?

“Christian is smarter than the rest of us, he is cuter than the rest of us, and he is cooler than the rest of us. If you don’t believe it, just ask him.”

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Trivia time: Who won the last regular season NFL game played in Baltimore?

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Tale of the twos: When USC failed on a two-point conversion try against Stanford in the closing seconds of Saturday’s game, it was the seventh time since 1961 that the Trojans failed to get two points with time running out.

Those previous failures resulted in losses. This time, however, it wasn’t costly as USC already led, 31-30, the final score.

USC’s only notable success on a two-point try while trailing since ’61 occurred in the 1975 Rose Bowl game against Ohio State. Pat Haden’s pass to Shelton Diggs gave USC an 18-17 victory with 2:03 left and a share of the national championship.

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Time problem: Upset with the cancellation of the Mike Tyson-Buster Mathis Jr. fight, late-night TV host David Letterman said: “What am I going to do with that extra minute?”

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Oversight: Eugene Brousseau, 72, was hurt in a fall while trying to ski across a parking lot at a ski center. His lawsuit contended that the operators should have left snow on the lot.

A New York appeals court ruled against Brousseau, and he blamed his defeat on “bad lawyers.”

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Fashion failure: Bernie Lincicome of the Chicago Tribune on Dennis Rodman’s foul-plagued debut with the Chicago Bulls on Friday night:

“Even Rodman’s fresh aloha hair was a disappointment, some kind of gold color with a red swoosh across the front that looked more like a bleeding wound than whatever marketing statement it was supposed to be making.”

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Other scams: Blackie Sherrod in the Dallas Morning News: “In the countless obits on tennis veteran Bobby Riggs, we saw no mention that he was one of the really great golf hustlers of our time.”

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Vatican surprise: Kentucky basketball Coach Rick Pitino is still seeking his first national title. After his team’s summer tour of Italy, he said:

“There seems to be a joke going around here in Kentucky that when my wife, Joanne, and I met the Pope in Italy, I leaned over and kissed his ring, then he looked at my hand to do the same and said, ‘Oh, you don’t have one?’ ”

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Looking back: On this day in 1954, UCLA defeated Oregon, 41-0, on its way to the school’s only national football championship.

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Trivia answer: The Colts, 20-10 over the Houston Oilers, before an announced attendance of 27,934.

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Quotebook: Matt Bullard of the Atlanta Hawks on playing in Greece last season: “They [Greeks] have two hobbies--smoking and drinking coffee.”