Gretzky Has Right to Ask to Win Again

Guaranteed: Today’s column is a totally Deion-free zone . . .

* Back in the gluttonous late ‘80s and early ‘90s, L.A. could lay claim to the greatest names in professional basketball and hockey--Magic Johnson and Wayne Gretzky. Now, in these spartan times, it’s either one or the other. Most recent status report reads: Gretzky wants out, Magic wants back in. Reason: Both want to make one last run at another championship ring, and neither is going to get there under current circumstances. Magic is retired, Gretzky is a King.

* Gretzky, an unrestricted free agent after this season, says he’s gone unless the Kings trade for a 50-goal forward and a high-scoring defenseman to quarterback the power play. Magic is hinting he’d love to come back and mount a drive through the Western Conference playoffs unless Nick Van Exel stomps his foot and sticks out his tongue. There goes Gretzky, there stays Magic.

* Gretzky isn’t asking for much--only, judging from the terms, the reacquisition of Luc Robitaille and Paul Coffey. (Another fine mess the Barry Melrose era has gotten the Kings into.) Instead of attempting to act on Gretzky’s demands, King management, typically, is taking the small man’s road--trying to discredit Gretzky, through off-the-record asides, as a self-serving prima donna placing his own desires ahead of the team’s. And what, precisely, are these greed-ridden desires of Gretzky? To have a better team in Los Angeles? To see the Kings return to the playoffs? The nerve. The gall. That Gretzky, he’s another Eric Dickerson.

* This disinformation campaign oozing throughout the league, virus-like, is the work of an insecure general manager and a front-office staff utterly petrified of the public wrath awaiting them if and when Gretzky leaves. The concept: Float the trial balloon, throw some dirt at No. 99, fool some of the people into thinking that the bad guy is really Gretzky, not Sam McMaster, and then dump the game’s greatest player for a couple glow-in-the-rink pucks before he’s eligible to walk away for free this summer.

* That is the biggest hoot about the trade-Gretzky movement--the assumption that the Kings could “fleece” or “rob” or “swindle” another team, the way the Cowboys did with Herschel Walker. McMaster traded Robitaille, that 50-goal scorer Gretzky’s talking about, for a bad back and sent Alexei Zhitnik to Buffalo for an old goalie now playing in St. Louis. McMaster couldn’t get Wild Wing and a mascot-to-be-flash-fried-later for Gretzky.

* Not that the Ducks would make that trade if they had the chance. Wild Wing makes a lot less money than Gretzky.

* In other hockey news, Kirk Muller is traded to Toronto, Martin Straka is dealt to the Islanders, Wade Redden goes to Ottawa and the Ducks sign free-agent right winger Frank Banham, 20, formerly of the Saskatoon Blades of the Western Hockey League. NHL business as usual.

* Fox’s experiment with Casper The Puck, which haunted Saturday’s NHL All-Star game with its ghostly blue halo and eerie red comet tail, has met with mixed reviews, split right down demographic lines. Kids generally were enthralled, adults generally were annoyed. Just like at a Mighty Ducks game.

* Having already clinched honors as the Most Poorly Organized Major Sporting Event Ever Held In Southern California, the Gold Cup made it a landslide Sunday. With its come-one, come-all credentialing policy, the Gold Cup actually “oversold” the Coliseum press box for the final doubleheader, leaving legitimate, working sportswriters to queue up outside the press elevator, in the rain, while friends of VIPs, Miss Guatemala and her court and assorted hangers-on cavorted upstairs, chowing down on the free food and cheering goals by Mexico. Security thugs turned the press box into the Viper Room, allowing one person to enter the elevator only after one person had exited the press box. Even harried CONCACAF officials, downstairs on business, found themselves stranded for 10, 15 minutes at a time. Soccer’s public-relations problems in this country, and there are many, are largely its own doing.

* Despite a word-of-mouth promotional campaign and horrible weather, a crowd of 88,155 turned up at the Coliseum for the Mexico-Brazil final. Which proves MLS could make it here, provided the initials stood for “Mexican & Latin Soccer.”

* Hooliganism comes to Orange County: After the U.S. victory over El Salvador on Jan. 16, a half-dozen American fans were ambushed outside Anaheim Stadium by more than 20 El Salvador supporters, who began to kick them and beat them with umbrellas before several quick-acting bystanders could break up the attack. Great game, loutish fans--yes, the 1996 Gold Cup delivered the entire international soccer experience.

* Cal State Fullerton’s men’s basketball team is 4-3 in the Big West, which is either testament to Bob Hawking’s coaching ability or another reason why ESPN is dropping the conference from its “Big Monday” telecast package next year.

* Clipper Brian Williams says he’d rather play at the Sports Arena than the Pond. And with Donald Sterling, that makes two. Williams’ main gripe about the Pond: Not enough noise. Brian, if you were paying through the nose to watch you lose by 24 points to the Utah Jazz, you wouldn’t do much cheering, either.

* All in favor of Magic Johnson’s comeback with the Lakers, please say “Aye.” Stop shouting in Jerry West’s ear, David Stern. In a crumbling Western Conference, a return by Magic could be enough to spare the NBA a third consecutive championship series involving the Houston Rockets. What kind of TV numbers would a Magic-vs.-Michael final pull down? Imagine the blanket media coverage. The ticket-scalping frenzy. The Olympus-level caliber of the basketball. The taco commercials.

* All opposed? Well, really, what do Nick Van Exel’s feelings have to do with it? If the Lakers are able to sign Shaquille O’Neal in the off-season, do they first need to ask Vlade Divac if it’s all right with him?