Condors Not Just a Flight of Fancy

Downey’s California:

--I have been busy trying to think up a name for our new National Football League franchise, now that bossman Ken Behring of the Team Formerly Known As Seahawks has decided to let Seattle hang onto its name, logo and uniforms.

This means Seattle can keep that angry-bird emblem that looks like the gargoyle on top of the Chrysler Building in New York. It also means Los Angeles can dump the name Seahawks, which makes me really sad, because I had a pet seahawk as a boy. It was smart and could do tricks.

Anyhow, here’s what I have come up with:

Condors. My first choice. It’s endangered, but so is L.A. football.

Superstars. As in Hollywood Stars, only better.

Ice Dogs. What? Oh, damn. All the good names are taken.

Spielbergs. A good, strong, Ovitz-pleasing name.

Quakes. Have pride in your heritage.

White Broncos. O.J.-related.

Gladiators. Hard, buff, California image. “Beefcakes” also OK.

Olympians. We were host to two of ‘em.

OK, I nominate Condors. Will take suggestions. Can’t wait to see next Saturday’s Letters page. No votes, please, for Elvi, plural of Elvis. Already under consideration in Tennessee.

--Frasier Crane, phone your office. Seattle patients lining up.

--Although the magazine has heaped praise on him with many a piece, Michael Jordan still generally won’t give Sports Illustrated’s writers or editors the time of day because of their “Bag It, Michael” cover story, the one suggesting Jordan quit baseball because he was embarrassing himself and the game. As a peace offering, maybe they could send him an Air Jordan shoe phone.

--You would know how weird Dennis Rodman looks if you went up to him and said, “Nice shirt,” and his reply was: “I’m not wearing one.”

--Atlanta’s papers are reporting that Magic Johnson’s selection to the Olympic team is a done deal, that he definitely will be one of the two final additions to the U.S. basketball squad. I guess this means Fred Roberts is left out again.

--They were going to ask Charles Barkley back also, but they were afraid he would antagonize Angola again.

--Q.: What do the Olympic Games and Charles Haley have in common? A: Five rings.

--In his 1992 coffee-table book, “America’s Dream Team: The Quest for Olympic Gold,” victorious U.S. Coach Chuck Daly writes that for 1996: “There will be a whole new group of great players. The next team might include people like Shaquille O’Neal, Alonzo Mourning, Harold Miner, Jimmy Jackson, Larry Johnson, Kendall Gill, Derrick Coleman or some people who are still in college.” Uh, Miner probably won’t make it, Coach.

--Barkley once was asked about 1972’s U.S. loss to the Soviet Union. He said: “I had just flunked my entrance exam to kindergarten, so I don’t know much about that.”

--Terrell Brandon made the all-star team. Never heard of him.

--Favorite in the all-star fan-slapping contest should again be Vernon Maxwell.

--If they hurry, the Toronto Raptors still could win more games this season than the Boston Celtics, Philadelphia 76ers or Milwaukee Bucks. I don’t know about you, but I think this is hilarious.

--CNN’s “Play of the Day” in Friday’s sportscast was a strike by a bowler in the 12th frame of a perfect game. Ooooh. I rate it right up there with Kirk Gibson.

--Iva Majoli beat Monica Seles, 1-6, 7-6 (7-5), 6-4. Iva hard time believing this.

--The Dodgers just signed pitcher Roberto Duran. Bet I know what he says when he’s too tired to throw any more.

--Happy birthday, Gipper, 85 this Tuesday.